Reviews for Coming to Terms
natmarie chapter 7 . 9/6/2009
Stalker like leg staring, love the witty comebacks, I'm suprised Kale is so blunt. Um...maybe instead of undermine (to out do) you mean underestimate? It's cute to see how nervous they are, totally like a date...figured they might think about the bet a little more, but it works. Very realistic and I like thinking characters, as oppose to all action.

The brotha' comment reminded me of she's the man...very Viola. Kristin's POV brings a whole new demention to the piece. Nice getting an inside yet outside view of things and learning more about her is intriguing too. That was she isn't just a facilitator. I like it. And Greg is hilarious (maybe I just like "old" people.)

The Kale and Charlie conversation with hints of serious convos is there might have been a little more of it before the big smoocheroo, but it's also nice not to have to read through it all. So I'm mixed about my feelings on it (if any of that made sense). The way you wrote the kiss and their emotions was really realistic to me.

I think Kale is very tolerable. So more than just a bet ;) Can't wait for more.

PS. I edited one of my old stories (Say Cheese) and am trying to figure out if I want to take it on. Love to hear your thoughts if you have time.
my own prince chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
Holy fuck.

"Code brown."

“A foreign beast be swimmin’ in our chlorinated shores, Mon.”

Those lines got me laughing so hard my cat was looking at me funny. It also reminded me of this scene in this hilarious movie Caddyshack where they have to clean up a pool because they think there's crap in it - but it's actually a Baby Ruth bar hahaha!
Puck Connolly chapter 6 . 8/27/2009
Hey :D I just found this story and read all 6 chapters so far :D and I must say I love it! I'll be adding this to my alerts for sure! hehe
storywritergirl chapter 6 . 8/27/2009
Kale still hasn't grown on me yet, but Charlie definitely has. I like her spark. I'm willing to wait around for Kale, though, because he has a lot of potential bubbling under the surface. Looking forward to the next chapter. 'Cause everyone knows good stuff ALWAYS happens at bonfires ;)

Cheers.
natmarie chapter 6 . 8/26/2009
Great song choice. I've missed that song. I also like that we got some of Kale's POV and hearing his observations about Charlie. He makes being new sound like a terrible thing :( Poor guy. Oh gee Mitch IS a pain. Really, sex. The ass.

I love that everyone thinks Charlie has a vendetta against guys yet she is a die-hard romantic. I like how "love" cough Kale cough tapped her on the shoulder. Though “mentioned” doesn’t seem like the right “said word” you were going for. And if it is just them talking back and forth you don’t have to always say “so and so said, replied etc.”

Minor, but mentionable. Some of your sentences are worded awkwardly or are long. Not many but some. A good remedy is reading stuff out loud. I do that and am notorious for wording problems. ex. "Would never even consider"...wouldn't ever consider?

Sorry this sounds super harsh. I promise it isn’t meant to. This is a really good chapter, it advances the plot and sets up future events…you also are still doing a spectacular job with dialogue. Very realistic. I love the often cliché makeover/make-up scene, you wrote it well and with a unique twist. The Pam Anderson line was priceless. Was wondering where her parents are at, that would be an interesting dynamic. Those shoes sound like fun…for the beach. I love her banter with Kale. The Dom and Kris scene was a nice surprise. :D

PS. Thanks for the review. I reread and hopefully fixed the comma errors. I'm always terrible with them, too many or too few. If any of my other stuff appeals to you (old or new) I’d love to hear your thoughts.
leahmaree1992 chapter 6 . 8/26/2009
Hey Neon! WOW! I fricking LOVE this story! ] I could so see it as a novel...and if it was, I'd buy it in a second! xD Can't wait for more...!
taichcha chapter 5 . 8/21/2009
The chapter is finally up! I was so happy when I checked my email to see the alert! I really want to know why charlie hates guys and I love the nickname cherry. Update soon!
storywritergirl chapter 5 . 8/21/2009
In my opinion, this is probably the best chapter so far, although i liked the first one too. I'd like to see some more of Kale's POV though, just 'cause I don't feel like I care as much about him as I do Charlie at this point. Which didn't come out how I meant it. He doesn't have as much depth, is maybe what I mean?

And after working my ass off all day and then spending a good couple hours fighting my way through a shopping centre (clearance sales can't work around MY schedule, apparently :P), the majority of my energy is being absorbed trying to keep my eyes open, so I don't really have a lot to say-other than reading this was a nice way to start the weekend :)

Cheers.
Julia Nathan chapter 2 . 8/20/2009
I'm in love! THis story is great and I've only read 2 chapters! But we all know what happens when you start a story with a bet. Nothing good comes out of it. lol But I can tell this is going to be amazing! :)
natmarie chapter 5 . 8/20/2009
I like all the flourishes of pop culture...and how 10 things I hate about you (one of my favorite movies) this is, yet it has a whole different demention to it. The banter between Charlie and Kale is priceless. Look forward to hear more. :)

PS. Thanks for all of your reviews for PI. If you have time or are bored and care to/are brave enough to delve into some of my other stuff I'd love to hear what you think. (Some of the older stuff is poorly written so that is just a warning)But I pride myself in some of my poetry, though it is getting a face lift soon. Anyhoo enough babbling.

Awesome chapter. :D HOORAY!
natmarie chapter 4 . 8/14/2009
It's me...the ever-present reviewer. I loved this, as usual. Instead of launching into bet-ness, I like how you let Kale and Charlie have somewhat casual conversations and share unknown facts about each other. Still curious about Charlie's vendetta against guys...is there a back story to that? Oh and a little part of me cheered when Kale corrected Mitch's grammar, call it the English dork in me. Look forward to seeing how this who duel bet thing progresses. It'd be funny if they kept trying to out do eachother.

PS. I updated some if ya get bored and want to check anything out.
taichcha chapter 4 . 8/14/2009
I think this is your best chapter yet...I really like the dialogue between Kale and soon! I can't wait!
storywritergirl chapter 4 . 8/13/2009
Good development in this chapter. Look forward to more.

And once again, I deliver a very helpful and substantial review :P

Cheers.
Monkebella chapter 3 . 8/7/2009
Well I just read all three chaps in one go so I have to say good story, good plot and nice characters. It definately kept my interest and moves along nicely as well. I loved the opening chapter, really really shows Charlie for who she is and sets up the next couple of chapters nicely as well. Can't wait to see what happens next. :)
storywritergirl chapter 3 . 8/7/2009
Okay, so even though I need to be up, awake, bright and at my most attentive in just over four hours, I know that reading but not reviewing is just plain mean ;)

so, I like this chapter. The only constructive criticism I can think of is that this chapter felt a bit filler-ish? But I think that's probably just lead-up now that you've got the bets included in the plot.

But keep it up. I love speedy updates :)

Cheers.
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