|Reviews for Alpha|
| Guest chapter 8 . 9/7/2011
Damn this! Finnish it finnish it finnish it finnish it!I want to read more!
| roamingsheep1 chapter 8 . 8/1/2011
I like the storyline of this story, but your writing style is putting on a huge damper for me. The overly long superficial description of each werewolf in human form, werewolf form and their clothes at every possibility is annoying. And Adam just pisses me of . Always whining about how he doesn't like the sexual interest of his 3 friends in him but at the same time he is putting a show on for everyone oO. And suddenly he's falling for Fury? Nononononononono!
I am too only following this story because i want to see where the adrien/war pairing is heading. My guess is that adrien is another submissive and his "dad" was the one to erase his tattoo by force and fleeing his homeland so noone would know anymore. Maybe his dad isn't his real father and just kidnapped him? I look forward to the soultion, so keep it up!
| magic spells chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
awwww no no i think the ending is perfect
i really like your writing style
i just can't decide who i want adam to be with
| Gaaras Beloved chapter 1 . 7/18/2011
the one thing that bothered me was that the three once they hit puberty ditched him and now it is just lust
| formosaspirita chapter 8 . 7/17/2011
wow that was great, cannot wait for the fury/adam love to blossom as well as the zach/aimee and adrien/war. War is Fury's brother right? This is a great story, keep up the good work! :)
| TheGhostChild chapter 1 . 7/12/2011
C: I really enjoyed this. Great so far.
| Calico Trayce chapter 8 . 7/10/2011
So they'd kill one of their pack - a Submissive or a woman wolf - if they cheated, but for an Alpha to kill another in a battle for the very title it is not at all acceptable? xD
I'm just having trouble following that is all. And that now Adam has finally made up his mind (if he has at all) that it be Fury, it could suddenly be out of his hands?
I have to give it to you that you are a master of this drama.
War is feeling uncharacteristic, I think he's conflicted, yes, but to have already gone ahead and raped Adrien already, you'd think he would just do it again. Especially with the way that Adrien is foolishly trusting him. Maybe War and Alan have a lot in common, knowing how to manipulate the younger wolf?
Anyway, keep it up! The naughtiness of Fury/Adam is getting to me in that hot sort of way. :P
| Calico Trayce chapter 7 . 7/10/2011
Hmm, there was a lot of things I didn't like. Like the fact that the fight has been post-poned just because they'd take it to the death. Not much would change in just a month, right? And none of them are part of the same Pack yet, so it shouldn't be an excuse, but there's nothing I can do about it.
I also am not liking this whole Fury/Adam thing. Adrien is also not really putting up a big fight to someone who has RAPED him. War seems very all over the place. He can't have his cake and eat it too.
The Bitches Dance thing also kind of irked me. I don't like that even though Adam wanted nothing to do with it, he was suddenly cast as the Head Bitch. I really do not like him in any sort of spotlight. What's wrong with me? Haha. I resent him so much for a fictional character, and he hasn't even done anything wrong.
Perhaps it is just me. The writing is getting more and more different as each chapter progresses. I can tell there's been quite a bit of time between them, which happens to the best of us, I understand. It is very commendable that you are still writing it, and I wish you the best of luck. Your concept in this story is fresh and original and if you keep thinking in these terms you'll get hooked on other projects in the future.
| Calico Trayce chapter 6 . 7/10/2011
I'm finding that as the chapters go on, some things just don't add up. At the beginning of the story you say things like there is a house in which the Friendly Three live together, and that the three of them are the biggest in the pack. Then now Adrien is the shortest... It shouldn't matter how tall they are, right? To be a bottom, you don't have to be smaller than everybody.
But alas, that isn't the main concern. I'm definitely waiting for the next chapter, but I feel like this chapter was a lot of reading about nothing. It's only been a day in the story line, and before everything was moving at an alright pace, now it just seems like you're trying very hard to fit a lot in a short period of time.
Still looking forward to War and Adrien, and the Prince had better kick it up if Zack's got a soul mate out there and wants to have kids, which is a blessing that Adam can have them.
I like the King, but found it a little predictable that his spouse was a submissive too. It definitely explains the Prince's thing for him though. Haha, get on with it Prince, use your Alpha-ness!
| Calico Trayce chapter 5 . 7/10/2011
The smut was pretty quick, and not nearly as sensual as I'd imagined (or hoped) but it was something and I was very surprised I liked it! Maybe because War is giving Adrien something he's never had - attention. Lord knows Fury is being a douchebag about it too. The guy was pretty much raped, but then again how should Fury know?
Oh the dramatics. Who's going to pick who, and all that jazz. It's undeniably addicting. Now that the chapters are shorter too, it's getting better and better. I'm not sure if what you needed was more time, to maybe fall in love with the characters or something but what you're doing now is amazing.
Anyway, after that description of Adam's father, I now take back my guess about War being his dad. LOL. Well I don't know what I was thinking. I guess War could be a member of the guard or pack of the Prince's. Perhaps, or an assassin of some kind.
I really don't know, or care at this moment. I want him to make Adrien his, and I want the Prince to put Fury and Zack in their childish places. P:
| Calico Trayce chapter 4 . 7/10/2011
I'm kinda sad that Zack had to cut in with Adam, but it's great that he's been the only one with balls to do so. I admit liking his appearance, description and personality better for Adam than the other two of the Friendly Three.
I kind of thought that was where you were going with the whole submissive thing. Lord knows I've read enough wolf slash in my day, and babies in the future would be fun. However, if that were the case then I'd definitely, definitely want Adam to be with Prince Nikolas then. It'd be easier to raise a family with someone that rich and hoooot.
I'm thinking War might/could be Adam's Dad. LOL. I have no idea where I'd even think that. Probably because he seems very Alpha indeed. Maybe. I don't really know. But maybe I read somewhere that he was dead for sure... or died of illness or something.
Moving on, I am surprised that I do not really like the fact that Adrien has been drugged. I'm wondering how, and why that happened. I'd much rather him be going through something lame like heat so that he could give in. GIVE IN AND LET FURY FIND HIM.
Ah, speaking of Fury, he taking his achingly long time finding Adrien. Damn, I thought they were like, just right out the door or something. Haha, but oh well. The longer Adrien takes, the more I kind of don't want him to stumble in!
| Calico Trayce chapter 3 . 7/10/2011
Much better! I rather enjoyed this chapter. Probably because it has less of Adam and more of this Adrien/Fury thing. Then again, without Adam being a kind of influence in the mix, the pairing wouldn't be so good so I suppose he does serve a sort of purpose for the two. I hope.
I mean, I'm assuming that's where you're going with this whole Fury/Adrien/War triangle. So good!
"He didn't appreciate being oggled like a piece of meat to be devoured." Well of course you wouldn't, Adrien, so why they hell do you think Adam likes it? Oh? That's right. Because he does. LOL.
Anyway, even though it was short it was great. It's working out really good in all these points of views you have going. The pacing is working out great, even though it does seem to be happening rather fast, you're spreading it all like butter on toast.
I look forward to seeing Adrien writhe as well. Mwahaha
| Calico Trayce chapter 2 . 7/10/2011
Hmm, so again I kind of found Adam not to be my thing. I much rather like the whole Adrien being a submissive more. I found myself wanting him to say more to Fury about the whole "smile" thing, and was disappointed when the conversation ended there.
I've got to admit I sort of skipped the whole dance part. I didn't recognize the lyrics or want to visualize his slutty dance.
I really am interested in some more interaction between him and the Prince though. I think they'd make an interesting pair.
HOWEVER, definitely the one and only thing I'm interested in most is going to be the whole Adrien/War thing. I really want to see what happens!
There wasn't so much dialogue in this chapter but already it was better. Aimee seems nice, but kind of whiny. I would really love to see a little more of Zack and Fury too. I hope they find someone other than Adam who clearly enjoys toying with them, and that Adam finally gets put in his place by Mr. Sexy Prince.
| Calico Trayce chapter 1 . 7/10/2011
Well I'm reviewing chapter one.
I must say it was a constant battle to decide whether or not I liked this story. At first I was turned off at the whole perfect submissive who has them all on puppet strings. I was like, "Ugh, where's the fun in that?" I knew that it would be a constant, upsetting battle in which I would be forced to pick one of the three I'd like, which was a 2/3 chance that this would turn out disappointing.
But then you added the Prince and I quite like him, even though he's predictably the biggest and so forth. Probably the strongest, and already the most handsome.
Anyway, I ended up deciding I liked it enough to continue. The writing is very descriptive, which is a good thing, and you have some great nuances hidden between some lines. I think the dialogue needs just a smidgen more work. In some places it seems broken up - almost jumbled with explanations and plot. But in other areas it flows and is very believable.
And to be honest, I liked Adam before I realized he liked the reactions he got from the others.
Oh well, on-wards. I am currently rooting for Nik, if it makes any difference. ;D
| hexyz chapter 8 . 7/7/2011
I haven't read this in a while so I'm not really sure but, is this update a rewrite of chapter 8 or was chapter 9 deleted?