|Reviews for Strangers|
| Written chapter 1 . 10/20/2009
Fascinating piece! It's great how we just get this little slice of his life. The domestic fighting was interesting but these two lines seemed a little strange to me:
‘He has more of an idea than you do!’
‘At least I don’t plan years in advance down to the last minute!’
I understand that you're leading to a fight they obviously have, with the husband countering that line by attacking the wife's tendency to "go with the flow". HOWEVER, I don't get why the line "At least I..." comes after the line about the son having more of an idea than the father.
I mean, I GET it, but since the first line is saying that the son has more of an idea than the mother, the mother's line saying "at least I..." sounds like she is also referring to her son, like at least she doesn't plan years in advance down to the last minute, UNLIKE her son, when she obviously means unlike her husband.
I don't know if any of that made sense, but I thought it was an awkward placement for that argument to start. maybe it would have been better if it was like "oh, there you go again, expecting everyone else to have everything planned to the last detail" or something, who knows. i'm just throwing ideas out.
I really liked your descriptions at the beginning, it made the atmosphere tense, and I liked the ending, since it made it seem a little hopeful. thanks for writing!