|Reviews for The Violinist|
| Tinyyellowboxes chapter 2 . 8/5/2009
I continue to like the story. And WOW fast update. That's always nice. .
Okay minor, minor suggestion. I like all the emotion in the chapters but your characters are coming off a little flat. I mean, it's still kind of introduction and those are always more fact than personality but I don't know... I kind of want to know more about what James is thinking. And I know this isn't POV but I still like the little things, like a slight mention of Wheaties being his favorite cereal or something. Just little things to distinguish him as YOUR character. And I can tell you have those sorts of things built up in your mind because unlike a lot of other stories (ahem-mine) you seem to know where you're going with this. So just put a few more on paper and that should fix it up real quick.
Also snaps for the use of palette. Been a while since I've seen that one.
Ah, and sorry I can't help you with the grammar. Suck at it myself. I hope you find someone though. skow. ?classifieds you can try there if the need is dire, although they don't deal with slash specifically. I know SRA and LATS are working on getting a slash beta community up so if they get that up any time soon that might be helpful.
So I hope that helped, and I only came off as a minimal bitch in the process. *feels slightly guilty* I actually DO like this story I hope you don't get the wrong impression. And as always i look forward to the next update!
| PerryC chapter 1 . 8/2/2009
You have a good beginning here! Although it could do with a bit of editing. Some of the punctuation is a little off
I like how James didn't recognize Conner right away, and Conner's busy schedule is sure to add interest to the story. I also really like Jame's personailty. He seems very realistic to me.
I wish I could offer some more advanced critique. Maybe on your later chapters?
By the way, I'd love to hear your opinion on one of my own stories, if you have time
I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
| Tinyyellowboxes chapter 1 . 8/2/2009
Really interesting beginning. And really good descriptions. It's always a good sign when the story doesn't just consist of dialogue and choppy sentences. Eh, but that's about all I can give in the constructive category, since it's only been a chapter. . But it seems like it's going to go good places. Also, love the title. So I'll be waiting for updates.