Reviews for Surrounded! |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Yay! I think I like Ben's version of the ending better. I can't see how they found closure but the fact that Ben outright said they found closure by forgiving each other is enough for me. Natalie's version didn't end with such a sense of closure and I think that's what bothered me. I would have rathered you end a lot earlier and have the readers guess what happens to them (but that would take away from the story) than leave it like that (Maybe Natalie didn't find the closure that Ben did?). Oh, a little technicality: So I know it's been seven years but it doesn't add up for me. 2.5 years in jail 5 years in Colorado a year traveling the country doesn't add up to seven to me unless I misunderstood... |
![]() ![]() ![]() I just finished Ambushed! and now I'm checking out this one... a couple of things I noticed: In Ambushed, they took a cab to the bar...here, they took a limo In Ambushed, the dog is a golden retriever...here he's a lab Off for more! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm not quite sure... this Michael wants Natalie to figure him out... but besides this note, I don't see any other outward signs of this. It also doesn't seem to match the Michael in Natalie's story, that one didn't seem like he wanted her to know at all. |
![]() ![]() ![]() this is not relevant but isn't Halo's name a little ironic? You probably intended it but I just got it, ha ha. I wonder what happened to him after Ben was taken in... It's unlikely because she has a cat but if Natalie took care of him, then Ambushed! probably would have ended a lot different huh? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Even when you're telling the same story, it sounds completely different! Great job |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think this Ben works! I have a feeling you put the coffee shop scene in earlier to keep the time frame for both stories parallel. It's okay though, amusing to read plus we get to find out a little bit more about Ben. He's believable but I'm still having a hard time connecting this Ben to the Ben in Natalie's story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() wow, that was a great way to end the story! sorry i couldn't review the earlier chapter, i can't find the words to say when i want to review! great job, it was bittersweet. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Congrats on the amazing finish! It was great! :) :) :) :) :) :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() hey! Haven't talked to you in ages! Sorry for that by the way! Well another chapter! :) it's a little slower but it's still pretty good! Great job on winning NaNo! :) I hope things slow down a little for you, sounds like you've been running around like crazy. Keep up the writing! :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() yay! Another chapter! although their behavor is a little scary... It's still wonderfully written! Keep it up! :) :) :) Also good luck with your NaNoWriMo! |
![]() ![]() ![]() so it's finally happened... ... *sniffle* It was very well written, I'm just sad that it had to happen... but I understand it did. I really hope it's somewhat up hill from here... But anywho, great chapter! Keep it up! :) :) :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yay! Another chapter! But there's not much about Matalie in this one... :( but it's still good! Don't get me wrong, I know you have to put background stuff in there, and you do it in a way that isn't boring, I'm just a die-hard, romatic... lol Still, amazing chapter! Keep it up! :) :) :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() hello again, sorry, I would have reviewed ages ago but volleyball is now ruining my schedule. I know, I know, I don't have to review, but I want to review! :) But Ben is driving me crazy! Ahh! I'm so afraid that it's all going to blow up and she's going to leave! Admittedly... I know that it's bound to happen, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it lol... I may be afraid for Ben but I still love your story! I hope that you've been having an absolutely amazing week! Keep up the writing! :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Another amazing chapter! Really though, I'm going to straggle Ben if he doesn't say something soon! Ahh! This whole "non-me" thing you have going on is very cool though... I can picture it very vividly... Keep it up! :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I loved this one, i think this is my favorite chapter so far, it's like really deep, there's a couple of parts that deserve to be quoted, one is: -“I’m in a relationship with someone I love very much and while that may not mean a lot to you, it means the world to me.” I was like: "aw" after reading that one... And then this one: -“Let everything you know and love go because in the end you will only hurt them and leave them broken.” Can't wait to read the last chapters, i'm really excited. It took me a century to read this one, because school is sucking my life, so... sorry. Hope you update soon. (And hope I have the time to read it) |