Reviews for Sin's Wages
Purplemonkey123 chapter 1 . 7/26/2012
Haha I loved the last 6 lines. The poem had nice rhythm and it rhymed and i saw no mistakes. Good job!
killMeN0w chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
Simple an incident wrapped up into beautiful words. Love the sentence formation. I could almost feel the regret, there, somewhere from the VERY second line...

The irony at the ended added to the beauty.

I'm reading your poems, right from the ones you'd posted LONG ago...I never got around to to so, as you know the reasons. And I'm REALLY enjoying them!
J112011 chapter 1 . 12/24/2011
Very good piece of advice (I'm talking about the note that goes with this poem). Maybe this should be required reading in high school or college, although I bet most kids would overlook its message anyway.

Nice imagery, and full of desire, although I know I'll be wondering now in what way thighs can be seductively enticing. (That's not a question requiring an answer, by the way, just internal musings of a person who writes whatever comes to her mind)

But seriously, very funny.
wo bu ai ni le chapter 1 . 12/18/2009
Hahaha, I love it. Nothing else to say :D I just love it. I feel kind of sorry for the speaker.
letyoursoultakeflight chapter 1 . 9/23/2009
Love it! You write it so well ad the ending is excellent! It flows well!
SirScott chapter 1 . 8/22/2009
Good one. Women change after you marry them or so I'm told. Keep up the work.

natmarie chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
Way to not tell me you have new stuff up. I like this. It flows well and the rhymes don't seem too over done. The zing of humor is great too. :)
Isca chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
"I coveted my neighbor’s wife." 'Covet' is one of my favourite words, so naturally, I was drawn into the poem right away.

"Then I married my neighbor’s ex-wife, and regretted it for the rest of my life." This ending is very powerful. Even though the speaker's new wife used to 'give herself freely' to him, he still carries that guilt with him.
LostInMe chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
Good one...the rhymes are wonderful, and the ending is perfect in its irony, warning readers that even when the sin is done, the guilt can stay forever.
Doxie Doll chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
I think it would be interesting if you continued this. Maybe explain why the speaker regrets marrying the woman.

I also like how you rhymed 'thighs' and 'rise'

Mirabella chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
He he, i liked the ending, made me smile. :)

And the rhyming was well done, the flow of the peice too.