|Reviews for smoke and cranberries|
| kit feral chapter 1 . 9/22/2009
she tasted of
smoke and cranberries,
with the tang of vodka
and cheap desperation.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
RM Prize review!
I liked the middle stanza a lot. I think that was a really powerful description. I think the ending is nice as well. The snow was a great image and I loved the idea of tripping on laughter. Ending on an ellipse worked well here also.
The first stanza just wasn't as good for me. I mean the descriptions were ok, but it didn't really seem like a necessary part of the piece to me anyway.
| Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 8/27/2009
This was great! I like the line, "to her never ending music." like there's music always playing in her head. I can relate. And the ending was wonderful! Nice work :)
| Duckies chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
I love the mood you set with this poem - it just has this really great vibe, which I think might be mostly because of your word choice. The things you decided to describe and compare were wonderfully unique and vivid - your use of similes was also very well done.
Almost the entire piece flowed deliciously, with luscious imagery and emotions. The only line that kind of stood out for me was "to her never ending music" - I get that you want to make it clear that this music is specifically the character's, but repeated twice with only two small words in between made it feel rather awkward. Perhaps simply replace 'her' with 'the.' - I think that might flow better. Or maybe it's just me and my strangeness :D
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this - beautifully written, and happy (belated) birthday!
...Yes, I reviewed you especially because it was your birthday...I know I'm weird xD
P.s - Love the title, btw! :D
| Isca chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
"Come to me." So, it seems my mind headed straight for the gutter here, but I can't help but like this line - it's very sensual.
"He nodded in the dim light." God, I love this imagery. There's something so profound about watching someone in semi-darkness - they 'come alive' in the glow of things, I guess.
"She sang him boleros." That's my girl - singing her man some Latin tunes.
"She tasted of smoke and cranberries." OH. MY. GOD. Do you realize how beautiful pairing 'red and 'grey' together is? Wow. :D
"She tripped in her laughter." Aww. That's so cute. She's clumsy, but still foxy ;).
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
Wow, I love this! The ending works PERFECTLY and it's all just so beautiful, all the description and wording.
What's a bolero?