Reviews for The Chip by Devon Pitlor
Martin Drake chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
Very interesting premise - kind of 1984 meets Soylent Green (but are the blocs made out of people?)

Not one of your greatest, but still a quick and enjoyable read!
Katie Nicole chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
This was amazing...

I loved so much about it that I'm not even sure I can provide an accurate or remotely helpful review. But the way this was written was so fantastic - it gave a very George Orwell '1984' feel, in my opinion - but it's basis was entirely creative and original, something I never would have guessed or figured out on my own.

It's definitely something I would have paid to read [:

I like that you leave gaps, only to fill them in later. Of course the entire story I was wondering to myself, "What are blocs," but I was thankfully patient enough to wait it out. You fleshed it out in the last section, and really, it was so sad once you realized what was happening. You understand why the mother only packed one night's clothing instead of three.

It's such a sad and unusual concept.

I also like that the Chip is never really explained.. I like a bit of mystery in stories, and this definitely provided that. You were very thorough, and the beginning was very somber, almost a companion piece to the Saint-James sections, the father's funeral, learning who the characters were before learning what they were like.

I've got to hand it to you, you did an excellent job. You created your very own version of a believeable, bleak future. I really love this story, and it's a favorite, without a doubt.

Sorry if my review was more flattering than constructive. If you want a dash of helpfulness, I did notice very few easy-to-fix grammatical errors:

I guessed that - [“Still writing your memoirs,” I see he smirked.] should probably be [“Still writing your memoirs, I see," he smirked.]

[“Even kids?” said Kerry. I thought they were happy darkies.”] Is probably supposed to be [“Even kids?” said Kerry. "I thought they were happy darkies.”]

And I also supposed [Green will illness] was supposed to be [Green with illness].

Otherwise, outstanding.

*Katie