|Reviews for It Used To Be Love|
| ayebuzz chapter 1 . 5/7/2010
you should continue to write poems :)
| BaxterB chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
Not bad. If I could complain about only one thing, it'd be the rhyming scheme. To be honest, I'm a little tired of every line rhymes with the one above it. Next time you should try going for a different style. That said, the poem is worth it just for "But when I never woke up, all I could do was scream". I love that line. Keep working on them, you definitely have more poetry talent than I do.
| Sakina the Fallen Angel chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
Ah I do that sometimes, take a list of words and then flesh them out. I like this poem more than the other one, as it seems to have more emotion. Keep on writing!
~ Sakina, from the Roadhouse x
| N.M.R chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
Hello! I saw your profile and I'm in love with Kellan Lutz (Emmett) as well, though I prefer him as a blond. In fact, I modelled my character in The Great Awakening after him. (Damian) Maybe when you read it, you'll see what I mean. ;)
Anywho, your poem most certainly rhymes so if that was your objective, kudos! I feel you focused too much on the rhyming though and not enough on the essence. If your poem is tailored only to fit words, and not the reason behind them, you tend to lose the power in poetry.
Keep writing poems, though! You definitely show talent.
| Hemlock-Key chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
Well, it definitely rhymes. As someone who writes rhyming poetry, I have to say you did rhyme well. However, you are pushing the angst button a little hard here, and you may want to A.) scale back or B.) Push it harder
Poems like this need to either hit hard and fast, or creep up on you. Right now you are too much in between to make it successful.
My first suggestion is to ignore punctuation completely, a poem doesn't need them. Next try removing words that you don't need.
"You left me all alone, to cry."
"You left me alone, crying"
The previous line could be changed thus:
"Why on Earth were you lying?"
"You made me fly high, like a dove."
"I flew high, a dove."
"You were so sweet."
"Every time we were together, my heart would beat and beat."
"Time we were together, my heart beat and beat."
Removal of extraneous words will make the poem read better, and of course these are just examples and suggestions, take them as you will. Good luck and keep at it. Like all things, poetry takes practice.
| bvwpeanut chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
Aw, sad! I'm not going to write one of those long reviews this time, cause well...i dont know! But I really loved the poem alyssa! It was maggnificeent!
| Love2read765 chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
Aw! That's so sad but really good! I really enjoyed reading this poem! :) It's really interesting! :)
| Aiden Payne chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
It was very good. It flowed very well and it got the message across. Great job! :)