|Reviews for The Gatherer|
| tetekanui chapter 3 . 8/23/2009
The wait could last up to three weeks? Oh say not so please! I'm kidding, take all the time you need, school comes first of course, and I wouldn't want you to make yourself sick. The only thing I know about Thayne physically is that he has long, spindly legs and that fits my image of him perfectly. He reminds me of a thin unsure teenage boy with glasses, red hair, and freckles. It's all supposition, of course, but that's how I picture him due to his personality so far. This chapter was enjoyable, and an excellent way to start off Thayne's journey. There was some wonderful back-story/foreshadowing with the revelation that the Supreme Mage (the Big Bad of this story, I presume) was an old student at Psyhne, which by the way, you misspelled in the the first sentence of the second chapter - just pointing it out, trying to be helpful. There don't seem to be any other typos or any grammar/punctuation errors in this story, you're extremely attentive to technical detail, which makes me respect you as a writer.
I am still in suspense as to what happens to Ryshel! I understand you can't have killed her yet, since she is one of two main characters and we're only three chapters in, but I'd really like an update on her. Maybe next chapter? *crosses fingers* In any event, this chapter feels like a bit of exposition and a bridge from the last chapter to the next. The "meat," the action, hasn't started. The ball has just started rolling down the hill; it hasn't reached momentum yet. The first mini-climax, I'm sure, will be Thayne and Ryshel meeting, something I'm quite anxious to see. A bumbling, young, aspiring male mage and a cold, embittered, magic-hating female gatherer. Both of them are on a common quest, though, I think. Or rather, they have a common enemy: the Supreme Mage. I'm interested to know exactly what made William Hyweln turn evil anyway. Surely he wasn't always that way? In some works of literature, the villain has been evil his whole life, but somehow in this universe that you have created I doubt that that is the case. It seems like this universe has a more gritty and realistic feel; it doesn't shy away from prejudice or abandonment, so it might follow the more realistic rule of, "Villains aren't born, they're made." Conversely, I'd like to know whether that applies to "good guys"-Are heroes born are made? That will be something I'm looking forward to seeing developed throughout your story.
Some things that hold my curiosity:
What in the world could be inside that book which is so important?
And what's a 'Ghee'?
Note: I'm not expecting you to answer these questions, just letting you know that they have occurred to me and whet my appetite for more information. Of course I wouldn't want your wonderful story spoiled, I would like the pleasure of finding out everything step by step.
In short, marvelous writing. Keep it up! :)
| Ida Dallas chapter 2 . 8/21/2009
Another excellent chapter:)
You're still doing a great job introducing the world, and the character of Thayne seems well done as well. I'm looking forward to reading more.
| tetekanui chapter 2 . 8/20/2009
Ryshel Huntress seems like a bitter but powerful person, and her back-story and "power" is extremely interesting and well thought-out. She is an adept and very striking character and I'm anxious to see more of her.
I really love the character Thayne already. The innate powers that students in Psyhne (is that pronounced "Sin" or "Sign"?) are taught to control are elemental, are they not? AquamancerWater manipulator, GeomancerEarth manipulator, PyromancerFire manipulator, right? There must also be manipulators of air, then, and maybe even PLASMA or ENERGY manipulators...I get the feeling that, though Thayne considers himself worthless and is the butt of more than a little ridicule, he has a lot of power that no one has seen before. Like perhaps the power to control all four elements or the power to manipulate plasma/energy. His mentor, who he doesn't know really adores him (almost like a doting father), is also a great presence on paper, even if an extremely short-lived presence. I like the contrast of the dangerous atmosphere in the first chapter and the almost homey feel of the second. That merely underscores the contrast between characters: the bitter Huntress and the naive Nycknell. I wonder how they'll be connected.
Your world, its rules and mythology, is fascinating and fed to the reader, not at a breakneck pace but not excruciatingly slow...much like Rowling's style with the Harry Potter series. It's very effective, informative and not boring but also not an overload of information that has to be crammed into the reader's head. Hey, keep on doing what you're doing, you're a good writer and I'm going to go on the ride with these characters til the end. Consider me your newest faithful reader. :)
| Nemian chapter 2 . 8/20/2009
Hi! I liked how it explains the different paths of magic, but I think the whole: Thayne! Do not. It is dangerous to voice or even think ill of the Supreme Mage, was a little contradictory seeing as how calling someone so dangerous you can't even say their title is worse then saying someone stood up to him.
| Nemian chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
I liked it, it seemed interesting, so magic is very closely related to death? then how is she different from a wizard? please update soon!
| Ida Dallas chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
A very imaginative story. It's nicely written, too. You seem to have a very good grasp on the world you've created, and you are doing an excellent job dishing out the mythology at a steady, but not overwhelming pace. I look forward to reading more!
| Nightrise chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
An Interesting story:) I like it! You do have a great imagination. Please update son...What is going to happen next? Is Ryshel captured by the ugly trolls, or is she saved by someone? I think she is most likely to be saved:D
On second thought, take your time, no rush,no pressure. Keep up the good work!
"A smile is contagious. Be a carrier!"