|Reviews for White Vehemence|
| OspreyEagle chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
Wow, I like this!
| Louis Denair chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
The other half of the poem completely blew me away. The ending lines were sublime. Darling dandelion is a truly lovely alliteration.
The metaphor of the construction work is a pretty rough, though interesting one. The dirtiness reminds the reader of the dirtiness of love, especially love unrequited. One thinks of the lover being rejected further on.
This piece is pure bliss. It flowed very well and it found a place in my heart. It really touched and inspired me.
| Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
The last few lines were so powerful. Amazingly well written. :)
Adding to Favorites
| with eyes looking up chapter 1 . 8/23/2009
wow. i don't know what to say to this...besides that it's perfect. :)
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 8/22/2009
Love that ending! I did not see it coming, so yes, I loved it. I think the way the poem starts out is kinda pretentious (with the use of "abhorrant"), but I really did love the rest of the poem. The last six lines are just perfection. Love. Keep writing! :)
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 8/22/2009
Beautiful work, as always.
I love "your ivory chest rises" and "if my lips took a kiss, would the serenity also come to be mine?"
"wallowing in salty tears"
The ending is amazing.
| Isca chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
"Your ivory chest rises." I like this description - it's very courtly.
"How will he pay for the string on my fourth finger?" This line reminded me of the theory that in prehistoric times, a caveman would tie a woman up in order to 'claim' her, but after awhile, he'd only put a string around the woman's finger in order to remind her of her marital duties.
"I'll just blow you away." Whoa. This ending is phenomenal. :D
| StarlightWish17 chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
It's very pretty. You're so talented. I like the description in the poem. I can feel a lot of emotion in it. It's so sad! I can totally feel this person’s pain. Gah. At the same time is very breath taking though. I like how you said my darling dandelion. :D Oh and:
'If my lips took a kiss,
would the serenity also come to be mine?'
Awesome. Love that line. You're great. Write more. :D
| hero.in.a.million.pages chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
What? No. that was horrible. It was really really good, but it was so so sad.