Reviews for Garden of Asperula
give me november chapter 1 . 10/17/2009
this literally took my breath away, very nicely written:) i really love your style, i can see why tonight we bloom likes you so much. i look forward to more poems! :)

yours, always

willow

also, care to read and review some of my own works? i'd love the support!
La Terraza chapter 1 . 9/23/2009
fucking amazing, once again, bravo.
StarlightWish17 chapter 1 . 9/10/2009
- It is very pretty. I like it a lot. I especially love this line:

Don't let me fade away.

Between the cracks of my fingers,

you are entwined.

It's so cool. O_o I don't know why, but I'm really drawn to that part of it haha. Good job. :D
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
The title of this poem is very catchy and romantic. Garden of Asperula- it rolls off my tongue with a lovely aftertaste of poetic delight.

The tone of this is very tense. You feel the emotions of anxiety and hesitation, the uncertainty pervading the speaker's psyche. The poem feels silent and melancholy and emotional at the same time.

It is true that words seem always so futile in true, uninhibited conveyance of feelings.

When I dance for you,

watch closely.

I will accentuate the turquoise in your eyes.

I was especially fond of these lines. They seemed very romantic- the act of dancing for the loved one and I liked the notion that the choreography should accentuate the color of the eyes. Not sure how this is possible, but it sounds tempting, I must say.
Ditch of Glass chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
very nice, that last line is my favorite.
Liliot chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
I absolutely love this line: "Teach me heaven's alphabet." Beautiful.
Isca chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
"Fleeting footsteps." Good 'f' alliteration.

"I want to inhale your sound." I like the blend of olfactory and auditory sensation here.

"Teach me Heaven's alphabet." I like this line - it's very dynamic. I find it interesting that Heaven would have a language of its own - that's very beautiful.

"My bones will speak for you." I love this line the best - especially since it makes the 'allegro/dance' imagery stand out. :)

"When our fingers lace, you will pray with me." That's a very creative take on holding hands.

"Don't let me fade away." The tone of this line is so intense - it leaves the reader feeling breathless - the 'pleading' quality here is so powerful.

The last line is amazing - the 'bathtub of gasoline' imagery is quite startling and impactful - keep up the great work. :)