Reviews for The Last Thing He Heard
Novella Vialli chapter 1 . 2/6/2010

I like it!
Narq chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
Hi, good poem!

But, I saw from your reviews that you've got plenty of that!

so, according to your summary, FictionPress resfused to accept where you skipped lines in your poem. i think I can help here.

If you do shift and enter at the end of the line when you want it to be single spacing, and you just to enter (the normal enter) when you want double spacing.

I'll show you:

asdfjkl;asdfjkl;(shift and enter)


asdfjkl;asdfjkl;(shift and enter)


(and so on.)

okay, I'm not sure if the review of the exampe was able to go through, but I hope I helped in some way!

Classy Broad chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
Hmm very nice descriptions but I'm left confused because I couldnt undestand why the girl would suddenly die(?) but I think you did that intentionally to leave us to our own imaginations and fill up the blank pieces ourselves (did you?) Anyway, this is a really good fic, Write On!
eaststar chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
I didn't really get it but don't worry; I like it anyway!
Sophia chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
I really like the story, especially the ending. That's what you get for not listening! I agree with the previous reviewer about how it feels like you're really there in the speaker's place. A few parts are awkward, especially "It was cold and smooth,

which was actually a nice feeling,

considering his face was sweat-drenched." I think that you could improve in making some things sound more poetic, as some parts (including what I quoted) sound more like regular sentences.

P.S. Sorry I keep using the word speaker. I was instructed to do so by my English teacher.
mariasofia chapter 1 . 8/29/2009
I like how you leave the ending kinda, well, open-ended. You leave that part up to the reader

And you used a perfect amount of details to create the setting for the poem.

BRIBO chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
read this poem, line to line, it compells to continue...I forgot I was reading I was going through it, and invisioned everything...great job