|Reviews for Her First Words|
| Patchwork chapter 8 . 11/12/2009
I really like this story! Ritsuko's awesome.
You can definitely improve with grammar, though. You keep changing between past tense(did, went, changed, ran, etc..) and present tense(do, go, change, run, etc..). And some sentences are choppy. Example:
"And to my relief, only 5 minutes left before the game ended, until then all of us need to just hold on, somehow."
This should be written like:
"And to my relief, there were only 5 minutes left before the game ended. Until then, all of us needed to just hold on somehow."
It's complicated to figure out sometimes(Especially if English is your second language), so try getting a Beta Reader maybe? That'll help loads.
Other than that, it's a really good story. I look forward to more chapters!
| eaststar chapter 8 . 11/10/2009
You make my school sound like heaven :) I'm having fun reading this. But you might was to look over your story a bit more. Like for example; "I look as if I’ve just survive after being lost in a jungle for weeks" It should say "I've just survived" and "I looked" rather than "I've just survive" and "I look." But you did very well for someone who has English as a second language. I hope you write the next chapter soon!
| eaststar chapter 7 . 10/8/2009
This really took me in from the beginning! I'm looking forward to your next chapter!
| Traffic-in-my-Head chapter 5 . 10/6/2009
*Girly scream* i love this chapter its so cute
Love your work , i mean seriously! people need to review more on this story!
| Makia-chan chapter 5 . 10/6/2009
yayy another lovely chapter w
can't wait for another one
*jumps around happily*
and good day
| Makia-chan chapter 4 . 10/4/2009
You do not know how much i appreciate you writting this its so god!
its like a light lemon cake
sweet but not too heavy, gives a punch, and light as a feather
(forgive me for my cake reference I'm a cakeaholic;)
its funny,its AWESOME! and THIS SHOULD SO BE A REAL MANGA
(runs off to the nearest art store)
*screaming off in the distance*
| Traffic-in-my-Head chapter 4 . 9/24/2009
thank you, i love this chapter!
keep up the good work :)
| Jamie chapter 3 . 9/1/2009
*gasp* cliffhanger! update soon.
| Traffic-in-my-Head chapter 3 . 8/29/2009
yeah! thanks you for updating :P
keep up the good work
| Traffic-in-my-Head chapter 2 . 8/29/2009
This really good XD
keep up the good work
and i hope you udate soon
| ritsuki497 chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
This is amazing! I am screaming my head off inside my brain wanting more and more. This is a great story! I simply love the main character!