Reviews for Paradigm of young love
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
Good luck in the Review Marathon (link in my profile).

I like this piece, I'm thinking it's a personification of love, though I could be wrong. If so, I think it's a really great job. It's different way to do it.

Formatwise, I think that last line should be shorter. Just to continue the downward trend of lines or maybe make the second to last line a bit longer.

I do like your descriptions, as always your word choices with casualty and paradigm were great. I also loved those last two lines. That was a really great description. Nice job.
Isca chapter 1 . 9/1/2009
I love the connection between 'droopy eyes' and 'too much gazing' - that's both cute and vivid. :)
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
I love how you summed up the theme of this poem in just one stanza. Very impressive and realistic.
gg. lass chapter 1 . 8/26/2009
this is adorable.

i love the idea of getting tired from too much gazing.

nice job.

yours until the wind changes,

gg
in theory chapter 1 . 8/26/2009
This is gorgeous, "dog-eared" eyes from too much gazing...breathtaking. It's funny how the title kind of contradicts the image of age, but that only reinforces how aging infatuation can be I guess.

Jack
Aiden Payne chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
so true, and very nice in getting it over with such few words. good job :)
Dale Christopher chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
This is such an amazing image. At first I thought of a boy in love, watching the girl of his dreams from afar. Now I'm not so sure, it could just as easily be someone watching the sky turn from blue to black. Either way, I really like it.

Peace, Daze