|Reviews for Margarita with the curls in her hair|
| MarkMonosyllabic chapter 1 . 9/5/2009
Maybe it's because I have soft spot for both Russia and for those bubblingly abstracted adorations of women that take me on a frenetic stream of consciousness house tour. The subject is a wonderful one, and it is treated perfectly. The way in which you jumped from detail to detail and they almost blended into each other at times, along with the enjambment of a lot of lines gave this poem a really unique flow that made it fun to read. As I made my way through it I felt like I was being jerked this way and that, my eyes being drawn to all these different aspects of Margarita. One thing I would like to question, however, is the formatting into 'couplets'. Perhaps there is a significance I am missing, and I'm not saying it draws from the enjoyment of the poem at all, but in my mind there is a reason for everything someone puts into a poem and I haven't quite been able to nail down that one yet. All of my pointless format quibbling aside, though, I'd like to make one last comment on the descriptions in this poem; I know I touched on this earlier but I really love the mingled descriptions and metaphors between Margarita and what is admittedly a rather strange host of comparisons. To write a very positively toned poem about someone beginning with a direct comparison between them and Lenin in his tomb is quite a unique and wonderful thing. Anyway, I really enjoyed this poem, overall.
| East-0f-Eden chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
this had such a wonderfully wicked darkness to it. "always reminds me of Leningrad" lovely.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
Thanks for your review! Good luck in the Review Marathon (link in my profile)!
The first stanza seemed odd. I don't picture Lenin being cat-like in his tomb. When he was alive, but not now that he's dead.
"like a muse, mixed up in malcontent and self-loathing,."... I don't think you need the comas there
I liked the piece though. As always you have great descriptions and word choices. You describe this person really creatively and well done. The only thing is I'm not so sure I was a fan of the couplets. In certain places it seemed to throw off the flow a bit.
| Isca chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
The opening line is very enlightening and thought-provoking. I love the idea that Margarita is 'stealthy' and 'cat-like' like Lenin and Communism.
"Her skin lathered in wood-smoke." Oh wow. The way in which you compare Margarita to nature is simply divine. You definitely have a talent for creating unique descriptions.
The format of this poem is quite nouveau and refreshing. This is definitely a poem that goes beyond normalcy and reaches out to touch things like personality and culture. The way in which you described Margarita was also very well-done-you described her sensuality in a most vivid, yet suave, manner.
| MittensInSummertime chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
I really like the way you've formatted this. It breaks it up. I didn't feel overwhelmed, and you've got some strong shit in this. The title "Margarita with the curls in her hair" reminded me of the song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds just because of the way it was formatted, but because of that, I read it in an almost sing-song way. And it fit the poem, you know? This is more than just words. You have something that conveys way more than just words. You imagery is spot on, and I love it. It makes me want to read this over and over again, just to experience the rich emotions and images I get from your descriptions. I love your use of figures of speech.
circles the bark of it’s long arm, sauntering,
much like Margarita in the evening breeze, the
world turning, mimicking the way she draws her
hips up, then down, like a wave, lazy and cool
in it’s meeting with the shore."
This is just gold. Pure art. Bravo.
| LittleViking chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
This is truly a striking poem. My favorite two lines have got to be "she stands underneath the silken streetlamps,
mimicking their shape, her skin lathered in wood-smoke.'
Such beautiful, original imagery. Overall a lovely poem .
| bipedalcooney chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
One of the most beautiful and intelligent poems I have ever read. Your imagery is so vivid, it's tangible ("she draws her hips up, then down, like a wave, lazy and cool in it’s meeting with the shore."). And you've captured not only character in Margarita, but culture as well. This poem is just so well done, in rhythm, references and images alike. Absolutely beautiful! Great work and keep writing!
| Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
I love the pacing and the way you formatted the stanza. Amazing job with the imagery.
| Elementer chapter 1 . 8/30/2009
Flow: I loved the flow, I like the way you break off into another stanza right in the middle of a sentence. I'm not big on how poetry formats should be, but I like your style. It's easy to read.
-Descriptions/images: This really went well with me. I love how complex your vocabulary is, it seems like all the words fit in place and paints a vivid picture for me.
-Enjoyment: I really enjoyed this, it's nice to see that someone can go outside the box and not write a generic poem about friendship. I acutally read this one through, most poems I read here have me skim reading, but you made me go in depth. Thanks for that.
-Subject: While I love your descriptions and the way the poem flows, the exact meaning of the poem bewilders me. I'm no poet and I'm only used to figuring out the meanings of traditional stories so forgive me and don't be offended when I say I don't undertand the idea. It just seems to me that someone talking about how great this Russian woman is. Does it take place during a certain time period? I mean I'm utterly confused.
In all a 10/10. Really amazing poem.
| katietheunicorn chapter 1 . 8/29/2009
This is VERY good!
You're imagery and symbolism is right on, as well as the pace. Plus, I can clearly see this woman as though she were a real person, your descriptions were quite excellent.
Good job, I see nothing that leaps out at me as being error.
| xenolith chapter 1 . 8/29/2009
Wow, you are incredibly talented.
I loved: 'The kind that stays with you long after you have idealized the shape of her face'
Really, just wow.
| Louis Denair chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
That is funny, when I saw the title I immediately thought of the Russian novel- "Master and Margarita" and it turns out the hunch was correct, immediately I am assailed by visions of communist Russia, Lenin etc. Remarkable.
The poem itself is remarkable also. I love the comparison between the tree and Margarita. The flow and rhythm is almost mesmerizing and the format you introduced, the two-line format with often unfinished sentences, makes me want to read on, if only to finish the sentence. It's like a woman really- the femme fatale that reveals only slight, but blissful, parts of her body and her soft skin to attract the unfortunate male's attention. Well, I feel quite happy to have been drawn. The imagery is wonderful. I think my favorite one must be: "her bones chiseled in sexuality"- it's just too rich and ingenious to ignore.
The way you make Margarita a capricious personification of an artist's muse- priceless and it left me breathless- rest assured.