Reviews for phoenix ii
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/5/2009
I love how you use winter's sun. Usually, you think of the summer as having the sun. So that was an interesting touch. The word breath is great here. It personifies the sun well. The ending is great too because it leaves the reader wondering why the walls cracked. Great job!

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile).
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/5/2009
I liked how you utilized metaphor in this haiku. With your walls cracking, you can feel the sun as never before, which in a since made it warmer. I also liked the emotional range that you show in this. It was a good call to write the thoughts in the order that you did, to let the reader unravel the story quality of this. Keep up the good work.

Much love,


Jules, via the Review Marathon (link in my profile)
Erlkoenigin chapter 1 . 8/31/2009
Mir gefällt das Bild der Wintersonne. Ich glaube, ich hätte mich ohne Nachzudenken für den Sommer entschieden, aber der Winter bringt besser zum Ausdruck, dass das Gefühl für Temperatur auch eine Frage der inneren Einstellung ist. Genial ist auch der Titel, so entsteht die Assoziation „Eierschale“ und „Geburt“.