Reviews for Marie
Lacrymosa string-quartet chapter 1 . 5/6/2010
Very creative.

At first, I thought Madeline was going to kill Ari at the ending but it turn out she... well I want to say rape, but did she really? Anyways, I liked the whole story, very good. I love Medaline especially, you made her angst with a taste of insane character _.

Grade: A average

Reason: Good concept, the ending was good with mild taste of wondering and curiosity, and the girl sounded horror and creepy. Nice job with her!

Overall: Excellent_
Manbreakfast chapter 2 . 9/17/2009
You've written this wonderfully and the pretext that it may be inappropriate for the site is not necessary. The warning you put probably deterred many from reading this and that I find unfortunate. The development of her psychotic nature was superb, bravo.
awriterscorned chapter 2 . 9/10/2009
Advertising your work as unreadable is a little self-important. A simple "very graphic" warning is better. Let the reader decide what is readable, if it was really unreadable it would also be unwritable.

That said, I like that the sociopathic sadist is a girl who abuses men. It's a theme rarely addressed in writing, yet abusive and dangerous and sick-minded women are a lot more common than the world realizes.

When he sees her burned doll, you use the wrong form of "your." It should be "you're."

I got a bit confused as to this girl's nature. Is she ruthlessly evil and sadistic, or is she a desperate girl who craves a boy's attention and throws a violent tantrum when he'd rather have oral sex from someone else? You imply very strongly that it's the former but it's a little bit unclear halfway through.

And is this character capable of love or just interested in raping the man?

So far, nothing here is that unbelievably fucked up in my opinion.
syaugust8 chapter 2 . 9/7/2009
Very interesting. This story is definitely dark and contains some mature subject matter, but it's not too explicit that it should be kicked off the site. It's a well-written story with some strange, oddball characters. The final paragraph is particularly powerful, especially the last line. Good!