Reviews for Leda
Ayaia chapter 1 . 11/8/2010


I like it. In a weird, morbid sort of way. You know?

My brother works at a museum, and he hates the statue of Leda and the swan, because it's so heavy.

I got nothin.

Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 3/5/2010
I thought you retold the myth well. I like the atmosphere of the bookstore and how you showed what's happening.

Just some errors I've spotted:

{but it's the kind of love that stays with you long after your done with the book."} you're done.

{Closing her eyes she remembered the hard glare of the swan tattoo on Zeus neck.} Zeus'.

{The bird folded it's long neck across her open palm.} its.
Isca chapter 1 . 9/10/2009
The second section is absolutely PERFECT. I couldn't read it fast enough. I was completely drawn into both Leda and Zeus' characters. I love the part when Zeus asks Leda why the 'rare love' book is so 'beloved' to her. Oh, and the 'swan tattoo' twist was ingenious. In the fourth section, I like the way in which Zeus' climax evoked the response of the weather-how crafty. The ending is very powerful. I love the fact that, even after being raped, Leda was enraptured by Zeus' presence. This is a brilliant mythological innterpretation. :)
LaFarfalla chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
Aah, excellent opening and description of Leda's character. I especially love the paragraph where you describe what she thinks of books because it's so true! That's what I think too!

A very interesting modern remake of a mythological tale. I'm not familiar with the one you're referencing here, but I do know that Zeus liked to turn himself into animals and have sex with a lot of girls.

Nice last sentence. It had a lot of finality.
vitriolicvermilion chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
I was very intrigued when I began to read this story. The writing really drew me in and the descriptions were quite good.

However, some plot elements were unresolved and details, I felt, were left hanging. What did her fear of water have to do with anything? The story itself, with Zeus and all, was very promising, but I was left feeling unfulfilled. I wasn't exactly sure what had just happened.

I know that sounds like a lot of criticism, but I really did like the story. The way it was written made up for any breaks in the plotline, and it most certainly was not a waste of time. Good job! (:
karma-dollie chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
Skimming the other review, I see there are more than the obvious connections to Greek mythology that I know. I knew I should've brushed up on that. :)

Anyway, I enjoyed this even without getting some of the connections that now I suppose are there. Just reading it as a supernatural work of fiction makes it enjoyable to me. I can make connections between the opening characterization of Leda and what happens later on though on first read it didn't seem to be much more than a plot device to get her to the bookstore. Pardon my ignorance. Haha!

Also, I'm a little torn about how to take the "rape" scene. Yeah, she struggles a little, but then she describes him choosing her as a gift. I keep thinking of it like she's happy because she is to him what that absolute special book is to her. But then it says she wanted to scream. So I'm a little bit confused on how to take that. Hopefully it's not more of my ignorance about the myth.

There are a few typos throughout, but nothing so bad to make it an eyesore or anything.

[“Excuse me?” He said to her,] 'He' should be lowercase. You do this a few times.

[The bird folded it’s long neck across her open palm.' You want 'its' in the possessive form.

Very simple things and it didn't make this any less of a pleasure to read. Nice job and good luck with WCC!

Long Island Iced Tea chapter 1 . 9/5/2009
It's fascinating, how you've managed to transpose the ancient Greek myth into a modern, urban setting. I liked the little details - the swan on Zeus' neck, Leda's fear of water - and all the delicate, beautiful descriptions. But a question - how did you relate this to the prompt? I can't see any clear - or obscure - connection. If you don't mind, would you explain your thought process while writing this to me?
RainSprite chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
This caught my interest from just reading the first line. It's more personal, because well, while it's not an extreme fear, I do have a slight fear of bodies of water I can't see the bottom of (hell, I can't even swim).

I thought you were quite descriptive with this, and that's always good, because I didn't have any problems imagining all of this in my head. Also, with Zues' character. I think you did a very good job with this. Because Zues' character did carry some of the attributes of the Greek God, Zues. This can be seen with their intercourse during the story. The Greek God was known to fall in love often, and could cause storms with the shake of his shield. So I thought it was well done that you made it so their intercourse was during a storm.

I wasn't expecting the ending to be like that, but I suppose that's why you labeled it as supernatural. I thought it was interesting how he turned into a bird, and more so that it was a dark swan. It adds greater mystery to his character, especially because if you know he's going to turn into a swan, you'd expect a white swan.. but he turned into a dark swan. That in a way can tell you much about his character, as I feel a dark swan would represent darker emotions, compared to a white swan.

I think you did a good job with this :)
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
I have no words.

This is an EXCELENT piece of writing.