I liked how it was very cliche but still deep and expressive. It was like putting to words unspeakable emotions. It was beautiful.

That was so beautiful I can't even begin to explain it.

Dear God. The emotions sliced through me. Eff you for getting me so emotional in the morning. Hahaha

I really liked this story, in all honesty. It's very relatable and there's a lot of balance to it. So I hope you won't take my constructive criticism too hard?

There were points in this story that left me thinking "Wow . . . that was brilliant" (for example: The segment where she's chasing him down the hall and he's faster. Whether it was on purpose or not, I felt it symbolized the protagonist pursuing the boy?). Your character descriptions were great - little details like the boys lanky frame, crooked grin, etc. You really do a good job of building the character.

But there were also points in the story that I cringed (For example: "But I had a limit. And for someone like me that was not too long." or "I had to try spark something up and go against my character, but I cannot find the right words to say.") I don't think this is because you're a bad writer - obviously, you can write. I think it's more a lack of revision. As a good writer once put it, "Why should the reader care enough to read the story if the writer doesn't care enough to revise it?".

I'd just consider going through and touching up the places that need it. Take out unnecessary words and sentences to make it easier to read. Correct grammatical errors, etc. Consider picking up the book "Self Editing for Fiction Writers" or even Stephen King's "On Writing". Both of these cover the area of revision immensely and were incredibly helpful to me. ]

Anywho. That's just me. Have a lovely afternoon.

Hey, I LOVE IT! Wow. Wow. WOW! This is perect! Its so much better than the poop I've read recently! Girl, you have talent! (well, if you WERE a girl.. but still)

Keep on writing ;P!

-Vanilla