|Reviews for Bloody Mary|
| Thunder Freedom chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
I like how you split up the two parts and made one italics. I adds to the fact that it's dialogue. The thing about it that I love best is that it doesn't really make much sense! The reader knows what is being said, and the basic idea that the lines in italics are Bloody Mary, but who is the other person? What are they talking about when they say "Salty tears turn us to rust" or "It’s my voice with which you scream/ It’s too late now, you cannot dream"? And it seems that the one person is in love with Bloody Mary, but how does that make sense? It's brilliant! So many questions are raised when it's read, and it still makes sense in its own way. :-)
There was one thing I found a problem in, and that was the meter in the line "Don’t ever tell me that life isn’t fair". I think it would read more smoothly if you just got rid of the word "that" and made it "Don’t ever tell me life isn’t fair". Do what you will.
Good work! Keep writing! :-)