Reviews for Matches
MetalCloud chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
This is definitely my favourite of your poems. I utterly adored it.

"Fighting it's space" should be "fighting its space" and "sacrifice you finger" should be "sacrifice your finger" though that was probably just a typo.

Other than that, there is really nothing else I can fault with this poem. It flows nicely, which is always a thing of beauty. I tried reading it out loud, to see what it sounded like, and it sounded brilliant. Sometimes, poems sound good in your head, and then you read them out, and you realise they aren't that good at all, but congratulations, yours was. And it's going on my favourites.

"Grinding blackness." I particularly liked that, though I'm not sure why. I really loved the last stanza. That seemed to sum up the poem nicely in my opinion.
Wildblumen chapter 1 . 9/8/2009
Even though there was no obvious rhythm, I liked your piece, since you tended to use simple expressions and simple vocabulary, which made the piece easy to read and comprehend. After all, those sentences still deserve being formed in a poem.

Good luck with your work:)

Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
For me, I think your conclusion was the strongest part: ‘Because to the world/You don't really exist,/(You can't be seen after all)/Until you strike a match/And manifest.’ I especially loved your use of ‘manifest’ throughout the piece you discuss unused, or unusable objects (matches) would could also be a metaphor for fire (passion/relationships) how the fact that cannot be used is wrong. Yet your conclusion shows that when the match works, the person/relationship works, and you ‘manifest.’

What I didn’t like about the piece was your use of ‘ouch’ and ‘ouch again’ I feel like it interrupted the flow of the narration, and you could still get the sense of it happening without saying that. Keep up the good work.

Much love,


Jules, via the Review Marathon (link in my profile)
He Smelled Of Rain chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
Great work! I love the metaphor in this.
eaststar chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
It would be better if you took the best parts, put it together, and shortened it because it was slightly rambling. However, I love the metaphor about the matches. Good job! :)