|Reviews for I Hate You!|
| Lee Daniel chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
This was a very good one shot. I couldn't understand the hatred at first, and when you revealed the source as love it really blew me away. It has been a long time, but I remember hating a girl because I loved her so much it hurt. This story took me back to that time and I felt the emotions all over again. Well done!
| River Writer chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
| SavannahX chapter 1 . 9/21/2009
I have a suggestion for you. I actually just learned it in 12th grade English so I'm not expecting your writing to have it in it... but I thought I would suggest it. It's called Parallelism.
Here's how it works.
You want everything be parallel. For starters, you don't want to have a sentence like this.
Sharon was directing a small play at a small community theater and nothing went right. There's a lot that can be done to this sentence. Ah this is hard to explain. Basically was directing. Okay fine. Good. nothing went. There's a problem there. Do you see how they aren't in the same tense? A better way to phrase this sentence would be,
"Sharon was directing a small play at a local community theater and nothing was going right."
Do you see how much nicer the sentence flows? Everything is in the same tense. You could also do it the other way if you please. Does that make sense? It's something I'm guilty of as well and I thought I would share my newfound wisdom with you. See I screw up in my normal conversation! Haha. Just try to put it in your writing. I'm not trying to be gramatically correct when I talk. That's way too much work.
Love you girlie. I know you can do it.
| Miss-You-Too chapter 1 . 9/16/2009
Aw sorry about the loss.
I wish I could update too but School is already stressing me out. My principal and the teachers are really going over board with the preparations for the PSSA.
Anyway, I really love this! So cute! I'm not one for mushy romances but this one's great! Even though it's not all that mushy...
| RetardedChicken chapter 1 . 9/16/2009
aw they're so swet!
| HeyyyitsPickle chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
aw! this is so sweet :D
| xxXNightsareDaysXxx chapter 1 . 9/6/2009
aw...it was sweet...thank u for posting!
| Myrix chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
I like the way your going with this! VERY interesting! I just felt like you rushed a little bit through. Its just the firt chapter and she already told him that she loved him!
Other than that, i really really REALLY like it! Update soon!
| my own prince chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
Okay, wait, Janie seemed totally bipolar here. I mean, I assume she likes Malcolm? And sure, that's pretty obvious when he sits next to her and she freaks - but then boom! It's like she gets mad that she has to kiss him? I understand that she's mad because she's uncomfortable and it came out of nowhere, but dude, that was overreacting a bit. And then she cries.
I guess these emotions would be a bit more justified if there was more transition between scenes and more of a buildup with her emotions, on how she really feels for him.
| InsideMyRainbowEyes chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
You should turn it into a story! I liked it alot!