Reviews for Who is he?
Lady Seratopia chapter 1 . 12/19/2012
Three points-:

1- Beautiful poem! It should become a song someday! I love the lyrical tones you added, it's fun! -
2- I love your imagery you used, made my imagination sar a fair bit :)
3- I'm sure this guy would flip for you if you just be yourself and show off these lovely writing skills :)
ForToday chapter 1 . 9/7/2010
Very realistic build-up of emotions/feelings/internal questions; a strength in this piece! "Maybe it's not love, maybe's it's just an oasis, and I'll always be thirsty for more." - excellent metaphor, I can relate directly; awesome job.
NocturnalNerd chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
I thought this was pretty deep. I can sympathize with feeling like you're not noticed by someone who's right there. But maybe you shouldn't be so concentrated on looks, and instead divert your attention elsewhere besides this person.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
"cos everytime I’m in the same place"...'Cause every time

"but everytime I meet him,"...every time

"Who is he who makes my ground shakes away?"... shake (btw I really like this line, it's a nice description).

"it’s everything so hot, I think I’m burning myself,"... it should be everything is so hot

I really like the idea here. It's something everyone can relate to and I think a lot of your word choices were great. I loved those last two lines.

However, the phrasing was off a lot. In the beginning it was confusing. You are talking about him, do you mean talk to him? Also, if you've met him than you do know him. Also, in that first stanza I don't like the repetition of alive.

The second stanza is great. I love the idea of controlling your heart and the rest is nice also. I like the first two lines in the third stanza too, that's a nice description. However, you have in the same place, don't you mean the same place as he? Also, it's so dreaming isn't right, I'm not sure what you even meant by that. Maybe dreamy? The last line was also really confusing also. What do you mean he's like himself?

The last stanza was good with nice images.
SandPaperWishesAndDreams chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
It wasn't the best written, kind of hard to understand...but the meaning over all was amazing, and no matter how it was written, the meaning was easy to pick out! It was a GREAT poem!
Isca chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
"I don't even know him." I like the idea that the speaker wants to get to know this man better-he intrigues her.

"Maybe it's just an oasis." This is a very powerful line. I like the idea that forbidden love is something that cannot be quenched.

Keep up the good work. :)
Erlkoenigin chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
Das ist ein wirklich faszinierndes Gedicht! Manchmal wundert mich wirklich, was dir so alles einfällt!

Weiter so!

Franziska