Honestly, that was great. I've been a fan of yours for a while now, and I always look forward to what you write. I can see that you're getting much, much better at what you do! You were great before, you're better now.

I like the descriptions of your characters. It really stands out when you use certain details of theirs but not others. For example, when you point out that Gail has a scar, but I still don't know, for example, what color his shoelaces are. You use just enough vivid description that I can see them, but can still use my imagination. Also, you do a good job of showing more than telling. I can understand more about your characters through what they do rather than what you tell me about them. I like that.

One thing I've always liked about your writing is your ability to make the characters realistic and believable. I firmly believe that's the most important thing when it comes to fiction. Your characters are also relateable. Even though I've never even stepped foot into a mortuary, I know exactly what it feels like to stand in one because your characters reveal it to me-they speak of it through actions and words better than a real person could.

I'm not sure if I can find anything to truly say that you need improvement on... I'll think about it though.

Thank you for doing what you're doing, and keep up the good work!

Keith

The beginning and frog/Jaydee thing are a little confusing - I /think/ I see where you were going with that, but a little physical description of the brother would have helped to really sink it in, but most of it flows and makes sense otherwise.

Endearing characters with a natural, pretense-free flow that's not normally found in romance. The interview got a grin or two as well. I'm going to end up grinning when I see Starbursts now.

Reallyreallyreally like it. I felt really intrigued by the characters throughout the whole story, it felt very relatable, and it was just generally a beautiful thing to read.

Loved the way it ended.

tht was pretty cool.. it was funny and it confirmed a bunch of stuff from the story for me.

Creepy, but not too creepy.

So it was wierd, yes, but in an adorably wierd way. Not to mention how well-written it was. I enjoyed it very much, and I think you did a wonderful job with making it romantic without being overtly so.

So I dont totally understand the story..Like...you mentioned him realizing various things and whatever but it was never quite apparent what those things were. That aside though, I loved it. Wonderfully well written and in a way, the lack of sense about it made it better because you didnt explain things. You just showed them and it worked. So anywho, lovely story. Great job

Beautifully written. Characters are sensitive portrayed, a bit sad and endearingly funny.

I don't normally review on stories, horrible as that sounds, but I read this and loved it so much that I felt compelled to do so. Seriously, it was the best thing I've read in quite awhile, quirky, and just downright beautiful.

Aww.. I really like this story.. it was funny, dark and slashy! *drool* perfect.

LOVE IT! x

I really like this story. This is probably not going to make much sense, but I can't make much more sense of it to myself either. The distance in the narrative is what got to me, the voice of Edwin, first person but still, detached.

The switching between mom / Gail from the first part to the second was very nice as well.

Oh my god...I loved it! It was hilarious, and I really, really like it. I love both their characters so much and it was really unique and special. And I love the last few sentences. "Morticians do it with embalming fluid"...the title makes you really stop. Like, you see it in a bookstore and you'd immediately go pick it up, haha. I know, I know. 'Don't judge a book by it's cover'...or...it's title :P but I think everyone agrees. Checking my mail inbox on a dull, rainy day and seeing "[FP New Story] Romance: Morticians Do It With Embalming Fluid, from xanthofile" just cheered me up already. And reading it made my day, haha. So I had a bad day and I read a good story...I have no other best bit for all day so far. But I AM going out tonight. Oh. That reminds me. I'm going to go shower. Adios. Anyway. Really, really love it and can't wait for the interview for this. The one for Pony was hysterical.

That was very good. :)