hey. overall I liked your story. It was a clever plot and not one that you would see a lot. There were some funny parts and also you did the romance really well even if we did have to wait forever! lol.

I think if you have a chance you should read over the chapters carefully for editing errors. Just some misspellings here and there or the use of the same word twice in a sentence and maybe i'm weird but that bugs me. There is some clunky dialogue or passages but that could probably be fixed with a better read over. (as an example in this chapter you said "he smiled a cute half smile." to me that is clunky - the same word used twice in a sentence. "cute' is not something I associate with gray either). I guess it just sometimes sounded like you were writing so very quickly (to please all of us) that you didn't take the time to really go over your dialogue and jenn's inner thoughts to make them sound more true to life.

I geuss what is bothering me is that while i get that she gets to get Gray in the end, what the hell happened to the gray in the book? You developed that all the way to the end but left it hanging. What happened to the prince, the war, Gray's sister, the resistance? i kinda felt like it was a cop out because you didn't know how to end it. Also did Jennifer learn anything? Is she really all that different or changed? I didn't feel like she developed much as a character and I ended up liking gray a lot more than her.

sorry i hope you don't mind the con crit. overall I really do think you did a great job. it was a complicated plot and one that was really well thought out. Good job and i hope you continue writing.

Dude. Epilogue?

Thats hilarious though. Liked the ending.

she STAYED cause she cant leave now!

She has to stay, they are in the middle of a war... Haha

but to comment on Loyal's prediction:

it sounds alot like this English movie called Lost in Austen (if you ever get a chance to watch it, DO SO!)

anyway, the plot that loyal presented resembles it and come to think of it, this story does as well... Not that I am saying you didn't think of it yourself...

Great chapter, keep them coming! This is what's keeping me occupied on the train rides through mannhattan.. Hahah

gah! really? seriously? this is torture...lol. she stayed. she has to stay!

Well it sounds like she went back into the real world :( this was an amazing chapter. I don't think it was too short :) you also had a couple of grammatical errors: you repeated "took my hand" twice and you typed "capture" instead of 'captor'. Overall really nice job :D

I love this story. The plot is good and it is well written. I'm not so sure I want her to go back to her world. It could be interesting but only if Gray went with her or there was someone similar to Gray there. I like the idea of her staying in the book. Ugh it's a hard decision. haha I can not wait for the next chapter.

oh geez!

I think.. maybe she went back? or is like.. inbetween worlds? getting to make a decision? ;P

thanks so much for this chapter! :D

I think she went back to the real world, and finds herself in her building, where Mary suddenly looks at Jennifer. Mary doesn't know how Jeniffer suddenly appeared, and Jen turns around to find her lamp is missing. Jen falls asleep holding the book.

Mary, she looks at Jennifers sleeping face, and announces that she is in love with someone in Jeniffers world, and that she'd like them to do a swap.

Mary goes out shopping, and finds a necklace.

Mary gives the necklace to Jennifer, and it takes her back.

God I hope she stayed but...it'll be more adventurist if she went back and what not,...but I love it!

I have no idea what happened. Mostly because I can't remember what happened when she was electrocuted by the lamp. Anyway, I liked the chapter, and I'm trying to be good today and review on chapters I read. O)

she went back to the real world didnt she?

I DON'T WANT HER TO LEAVE BUT I DON'T KNOW GOOD PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THIS IS THE END.

NO she cant go back... she has to stay with him. You kno what would be cool tho? if when she got back to the real world, she met someone who looked exactly like Gray. it would be awesome I LOVE GRAY . you are a good writer

Hmm it wouldn't be very dramatic if she stayed. A sadistic part of me hopes she went back to the real world heh... I hope you can update soon, I want to find out so badly!

~ Caiti