Reviews for Arthropods and Envy
Katie Nicole chapter 1 . 10/4/2009
I don't feel like anything I say can adequately convey how much I really enjoyed this poem, or even what was so spectacular about it. As the author, I hope you would know. It's really so lovely.

I may be biased, since I adore astrology AND poetry - so the two together was quite the big literary "O" [:

Beautiful piece, thanks so much for the read.
Dale Christopher chapter 1 . 10/1/2009
I hate opening a review with a positive exclamation, but sometimes it's fitting so here we go; wow!

Honestly, I'm really impressed with this poem. As you can probably tell from my screen name, I'm a bit of an astrology fan. Not that I believe in it, per se, but I do believe in the symbolism behind it, which is something you've captured here really well. I love the way you've described the relationship between the crab and the scorpion, the way they're alike yet almost polar opposites.

I also really loved the description of the crab in particular. You really had me from the first line in this piece. Excellent work.

Peace, Daze
Calligrapher of Hearts chapter 1 . 9/25/2009
OOF! Powerful! I effin' loved it. Your best work for a long while!

P.S. Scorpios rule ;)
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 9/21/2009
Good Sir, this piece is a genuine bomb. Drew me like a magnet from the very first lines. It caught me in its intricate snares as elegant and sublime as the spider's web and it wouldn't let me escape till the heavenly poison was fully introduced to the conservative dusty veins of my evocative organism. The descriptions were just flawless. Poetic, sublime, elegant, concise, meaningful. The image of two lovers, gentle and dangerous immediately sprang to my mind. Everything felt as natural as the imagery.

The mythic background, the Ancient Egypt, the gates of Eden and so on lent a breathtaking atmosphere of glory long past, gradual decay and perfectly emphasized the expectation that begins and ends the poem, the waiting for the tide. A perfect circular composition enhances the already mind-blowing catharsis.(although blowing isn't too good a word to use in the context of this poem)
KelaBelle chapter 1 . 9/18/2009
I like how you've dne thi peice of , you've descibed it vry well. :)
Leon Rozalee E Wite chapter 1 . 9/18/2009
Good visual, though some what hard to understand for me...then again poetry is not what I am use to reviewing. Hmm, is it just me or does it sound a little..not right?(probably just me.)I can't say much about it, cause it sounds almost like it is not done yet? like you are continuing it? when you put it under romance do you mean the actual definition of the genre romance?

Well, that is all I have for you cause I can't tell how are you writing it. I can't figure out the rhythm, pattern and stuff of it. If you tell me I might be able to do more.
Isca chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
I love the fact that you used 'the scorpian' to combine Egyptian Mythology with Astrology-that's very creative. I like the connection, in the beginning of the poem, of a 'crab' and a 'scarab.' The simile, "a gloss like the blush of a star," was very gentle and romantic. The line, "shaped like fallopian tubes," was very startling and captivating. The words, "according to Hera," immediately attach another kind of Mythology to the poem: Greco-Roman. Then 'Eden' adds some biblical allusions into the text. I mean, honestly, it's crazy (in a good way) that you were able to connect all of these things together. Keep up the good work. :)
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/11/2009
I had to think about this review before I wrote it, because, honestly (and that is no excuse) I had nothing to say, because I was so floored by the brilliance of this.

Let me see if I can decode this, shall I?

Your opening - you describe the crab akin to a scab (nice word play with that) which makes me think that the person themselves is a wound healed over, yet obviously the wound still persists. I’m assuming that you are the crab, and the other is the scorpio (I‘m a scorpio by the way too, sorry, I just had to confess to that). I also loved how you brought Egypt into play, and how you later described it, especially your use of the word ‘slapped.’ By utilizing Egypt it also made me think that this subject was once an empire all to himself, yet time has shrunken and deluded him to a mere human. Whenever I think of Egypt I think of its gods, and the godly things (pyramids) that they created, one very rarely things of the average joe from Thebes.

I enjoyed how you focused on the scorpian sting, and the act of stinging, but you didn’t really use that as a weapon against the person. It’s clear that this person is awe-inspiring, and ready to strike when needed, but you kind of make it less of a deadly thing, and more of a force of this person’s nature. Something that they cannot help, they just are/do.

(We are both female signs,/but male by design./Both liquid, creeping signs/so fluidly divined.) I’ve always admired how you play with gender in your poetry. Your writing itself is delicate like a woman’s but it has a very clear masculine voice. And please don’t take this the wrong way but your overall style and vibe is pretty genderless, it fits with both sexes. It’s like an idea or a conversation that can be emulated and shared by either or of the sexes. It’s not wholly one way or the other.

In the end I also liked how you show the similarities between the two - both are shelled creatures. A shell is such a powerful motif for a poem, and a person, it makes me think that you and he are both battle scared - the crab shows it through the scabs, and the scorpian shows it through its sting. This is one of your more amazing creations. I absolutely loved it!

Much love,

Juliet.
Eternal Skies chapter 1 . 9/11/2009
this is so weird!(in a good way)

about crab and scorpion lovers, now, that counts as a point to originality. and your descriptions are unic and high-leveled writing(to me) cuz i had to read it twice to fully understand it.

i simply loved it.
vitriolicvermilion chapter 1 . 9/11/2009
This was exquisite.

Your use of some alliterations was fantastic! I rarely see them in poetry, but I love them.

Your vocabulary is fabulous as well-this poem probably has the most advanced vocabulary of any I've read. It was rich and vibrant.

The crab and scorpion idea in general was very original and I loved the way you used it.

It was wonderful just to soak this poem in.
An-Author-At-Heart chapter 1 . 9/11/2009
Oh wow, that was good! Everything was so beautifully described, and I love how two Zodiac signs, though both from the same phylum (yes I'm a science geek... I'm not going to lie the science terminology like "arthropod" and "chitin" got me excited) are broken down enough to create something deeper, something that can be related to humans. "Shining like the scarab it was, before Egypt was buried and slapped from the grasp of greatness" was my favourite line - it has a sense of awe, grandeur, and a little bit of mystery, like watching civilization break down before my eyes, for only a few subtle remains left. Just overall, a GREAT job!