I love your opening line with this, it painted a really pretty opening picture for the scene. Liked the image of the "reflections". I also enjoyed how you contrasted the pretty imagery with the bad qualities of man, or at least, some of the faults of Anaxas, the narrative was very up front and honest about the culture, and I appreciated it. I love that Shi and Noli have stuck together through this so far, it's a great development and another one that I wasn't sure which way it would go last chapter-I'm glad it ended up going this way. Listening to the dialogue between them was settling and well placed in the scene-it explored the depths of their character relations more, which I think is necessary at this point in the story, and it was fun to watch it unfold. Loved the ending, that scene where she's sitting naked by the fire was well described-the scene came to life again, I liked the starkness of it, if that makes any sense-haha, stark naked, stark dark, XD. But anyway, the lead in to that last line we eloquently done. And once again, this chapter was extremely well edited with no errors I could find, you're beta reader does a wonderful job, and I think you've also improved a lot since the first chapter of this story-the writing imparts a story that flows really well and frames scenes with proper detail. Overall, thanks for the read tonight ;)

"...I suppose?", the taller boy...

-Edit: omit the comma after the dialogue

Besides that little grammar thing above, this entire chapter was really well edited and flowed wonderfully. The dialogue worked well and stayed in character I think, though it has been awhile since I've come back to this story, as I think it's been awhile for Shi as well, so it worked out. I liked the developments with Shi in the first scene with Azeen, their dialogue did a good job reintroducing the characters and also getting us accustomed to what is the custom of their culture, I enjoyed the mention of the hospitality and the little exchange there, I felt it was done quite naturally. I also think you did wonderfully balacning the dialogue with narrative, and little details like the rain cloak and the lightening of the room that Shi was in with Noli and the size, helped to really create the scenes and bring them to life.

I actually wasn't expecting Shi to meet Noli so soon, so I liked that, it was a bit unexpected, but it was also unexpected for both Shi and Noli, so again, you did a good job keeping the scene in character and keeping the reader in line there.

Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter because it was smoothly written and had attention to characterization and details within the scenes. I also enjoyed the twist of Noli and Shi getting to see one another again, and the history of why Shi is a witch, and how she got to the place she is now-especially the talk with her grandmother.

I enjoyed the beginning of this, it was like being tipped head first into a fantasy gossip column, there was so much information, but it didn’t feel like an effort to go through it, although how much of it I’ll remember is another thing. I think it’s because eyou starte don a festival, and rather than going into uncomfortable detail about what it was a festival of you moved on to the next thing, and then the next thing.

The loud boisterous slang of the apprentices though was fun, and really added to their characters and the festive atmosphere. I nearly missed Shi in the surge of characters and information though. And although there’s a lot of cultural stuff you don’t tell or show much about the scenery.

I was glad we got to see more of Shi soon afterwards, and the way Noli talked to here made me laugh.

What’s a drinking lullaby? I don’t really feel like the too go together. Although it makes sense that a brewer’s apprentice would know all the songs.

Probably because she bosses Azeen more than me – that made me laugh. It’s very true.

I’m also not sure whether Mugroba is a city, town or country, but that doesn’t really matter at the moment.

I did like that Noli didn’t fall for Shi immediately, but rather it snuck up on him the more he got to know her. That feels like a much more natural way of doing it.

From the review marathon (link in my profile)

I like the first really full paragraph about how Noli doesn't speak and it signals something is wrong, not only is it relatable (at least it's something people can tell about me when I don't speak) you also manage to incorporate more characterization for him through mentioning his love for the language and everything.

Wow, that first part really pulled me in-great dialogue work between them. The small details about their relationship throughout the two years they'd known each other was a good incorporation-stuff like "the little fights we'd had" and everything. I like to see that her and Azeen were also getting along-but it sucks that she has to bow out. I feel bad for Noli but at the same time I like that Shi is an independent character and though she cares for Noli she also is able to take the story in a different direction by taking direction in her life and going somewhere new. It definitley wasn't what I expected of her. I also liked Azeen's suggestions on how to make their relationship work, because I think you had so much cultural/gender dynamics going on that it was definitley a question that the reader would ask, and I think you handled it nicely by answering the questions through a character and getting that taken care of in a very clever way.

So I see this isn't "completed" yet-there will be more, yes? By the way it says "character's youth" in the title, I'm wondering if perhaps you will follow either Shi or Noli later on it life? If anything, I'd be very willing to see what happens next in either of their endeavors. You were able to give bits of truth in a relationship that lasted two years-I'd be interested in what you could do with these characters and in this setting later on!

Eh -_- The chapter title of this doesn't sound pleasant. Why so soon?

"..we get back to work?" Noli yawned again.

-Small and very picky suggestion, I'd almost get rid of the "again", because as readers we know he yawned again just by saying "he yawned"-you know? So it's almost an empty word to say "again" because it's obvious. But again, that's very picky, XD.

...Azeen surprised tone when he added "that much?"

-Edit: Capitalize "That"

...not too mention much too thin to be attractive...

-(Interesting view that a woman can be too thin and not attractive, I kind of like that it makes her different)

-Edit: the first "too" should just be "to"

I almost would suggest not using the italics for the flashback discussion but I do like how you incorporated it, it gave us a good insight and it was a fitting conversation that showed more depth into both Shi and Noli. And we learn more about "wicks"...

You delve into the action pretty quick and I think it speeds things up towards the end of Shi's POV-loved that you referred to her hearing the sound of a blade being drawn from a scabbard, that was a cool detail and a unique way to be alarmed O.O

I loved the cultural differences of Shi taking charge and nothing thinking a thing of it, there's some good commentary here, and it certainly made me fear for the men's reaction of Shi-she's so awesome! And she proves that even more when she intervenes, love it!

Aw, you tricked me! And here I thought that Noli and Shi were going to get wrapped up in a really emotional relationship fight, XD, and then you take it literally from a completely different direction, so I really like that you were able to play with my assumptions. You even add an air of mystery about the ordeal too.

Oh, forgot to mention that I'm liking the chapter title names that follow the theme of "firsts"-nice concept and it's something new that I haven't come across, and then to end it with "Last breakup" eh-we'll see what happens, I'm almost afraid to get to that chapter, XD.

Ah, the whole brewing profession thing is so creative, I've never read anything pertaining to brewing before, and I like it because it's new and I feel like somehow I'm almost learning something!

Being now the man in charge...

-Edit: I'd switch to "Now being..."

I like that you go on to explain Ku Ossa, I also think it sounds like a great plot for a story to take place in-fun setting, I hope we get to see it play into the story later!

Also liked the conflict about Shi and their kiss, and what it meant since Noli hasn't seen her in such a long time-it was a good device to bring Azeen in to sort of bring that internal conflict into the external. And wow, the paragraph starting with "Delicate naked feet.." had a great effect. Very wonderful description, it really painted a vivid picture and I liked the way you don't miss a detail but still incorporate Noli's perceptions of "knowing that skin tone" and that kind of thing.

Little disappointed that the transition glosses over the sort of fun that the two might have had during the festival and all, but I still like that you get right to the focus, which is Noli and Shi's relationship. Also provided some nice background information on "wicks"-wonderfully incorporated.

Aw, I love that ending. I love the "insecure" that sort of plays in, even with both of them a little bit, and the introduction of first love and everything as having its awkward moments-it's so realistic, XD. There were so many things I loved about this chapter!

From the review marathon (link in my profile)

Ah, it's been a long time it seems since I read the first chapter of Dating Years, so I skimmed through the first chapter again to make sure I was up to date, XD, hopefully I will be able to pick this right back up!

I think you did a great job capturing that awkwardness that you mention in the first sentence and carrying it through the dialogue and narrative of how Noli feels, so I enjoyed how you handled it. Making the sentences in the dialogue shorter and a little jerky I think did a great job, of sort of timid speaking in a way, at least with Noli's apology and such.

Then your transition and the way that Shi reacts to the apology and the atmosphere change was well done too. I actually didn't see that coming, I thought maybe Shi would just accept it and move on but I'm glad to see that she's prove me completely wrong with her personality. I love the strength and how she takes control.

Overall a charming chapter. I think you handled the atmosphere of the scene really well in having it both be serious at the beginning and then more care-free towards the end, which I enjoyed. Also didn't find any errors, so this was a well written chapter.

Huh, cool idea for inspiration here! Would this better fit a piece, I feel like because some of the idea aren't originally yours it might fit better into that category. I've never played the game, but I liked the way you talked with a narrative voice that assumed the audience knew, because it made me feel as if I had played the game, haha. I followed along actually pretty well!

I found some places where you've got missing commas with dialouge tags such as:

"Yes, meet our sister" said Ania.

-should have a comma after sister

Nice dialogue with Leni and Ania, and I think you characterized Shi well too. There seemed to be a lot of characters and that did sort of overwhelm me, but I give that the benefit of the doubt since I've never played the game. It was kind of cool though how you could jump right into that pre-disposed plot and give it a wonderful narrative voice. Creative idea, I would have never have thought to do something like this with my own RPG games!