|Reviews for Is Never Good For You?|
| Another Duck chapter 6 . 9/5/2010
The plot isn't anything particular in itself — Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy is hurt by girl. Fairly standard for stories without a happy ending. Though I never got the impression that this was the purpose of the story, so it's all okay.
Considering all characters are based off of Al's perception, they're tilted, but he's still honest enough about how he sees them and how he feels about them to make them complete characters. Al himself is a typical teenage boy, even if he's an outcast of sorts. I did get the impression that he thought a little like a girl, though, but I can't point my finger at why I perceived it like that. Maybe the language he used, or maybe that I'm just not all that familiar with his way of speaking and thinking. Most importantly, though, is that all of them felt real, and acted within the personalities they were given.
Since it's a first person perspective story in a similar style of a journal, there were some gaps where the scene rather quickly skipped forward. With the length of the story, and the amount of details, it was still consistent, and didn't hurt at all. It made sense anyway. There's also nothing really illogical with what happens.
The language used was that of a teenager — simple and informal. There aren't lots of descriptions or complicated scenes. It makes it very easy to read, and while it's not something that would improve a reader's vocabulary, doing it in another way would just be weird. Real people do speak and think like that, and even if stories generally should clean up language (you don't write and speak the exact same way, even if you write dialogue), it works very well. I'm not sure how it would work if the plot didn't focus on teenage problems, but within that context, it's suitable.
First person perspective stories can be hard to write if you're not used to them. However, one benefit they have is that they bring a lot of personality directly to the reader, in the form of the narrator. It's possible to achieve the same thing in third person, but it's more effective in first person. Al's personality comes from the style of the story, rather than anything actually described. It's a nice contrast to how everyone else's personalities are based on his descriptions, whether it be directly or by how he describes their actions.
Overall, it's a short, and while not all that sweet, a thoughtful story. The emotions in it strike home, which I felt was the main point of it. I liked it.
| Raingypsy chapter 6 . 12/21/2009
Hey. another great chapater! Poor Al! Please update soon.
| Raingypsy chapter 5 . 11/29/2009
Another great chapter! Please update soon, I can't wait to see what happens. :)
| Raingypsy chapter 4 . 11/29/2009
I love this! It's a very original story line and I love hearing it from Al's perspective. I also like the way it's written. It's very unique but it makes it flow really well and still creates an atmosphere.
Kudo's on a great story.
| ranDUMM chapter 2 . 11/28/2009
It's a good storyline, and you've written it pretty well, but we need more visual imagery. At the moment, it's really short, and a tiny bit bland. You can add more descriptions and stuff in it, apart from what Allison is thinking. Your paragraphs don't need to be the length of a sentence. Grouping two sentences together is okay :) It's got a great plot though, and I must admit I thought it was going to be slash at first, but I made myself read on and find out more. If I may suggest that you combine the first two chapters? That way we get the full ZAP! of the twist in the first chapter itself, cos it's more of a first-paragraph-ZAP! :):)GREAT PLOT, keep writing! :D:D
| Karper-John chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
Wow I bet this will turn out pretty good
Im pretty entertained reading its not so boring like some of the other stories on this site
This goes on my favorites
| xHopeLesSdReaMeRx chapter 3 . 10/7/2009
i like Al too and Taz and their parents. lol. update soon! :))
| xHopeLesSdReaMeRx chapter 2 . 10/7/2009
haha! i really thought that you meant his real sister in Chapter 1. I even read the summary again in order to ensure if that's really the plot. And i thought that he was a girl too! keep it up:D