This chapter made me laugh so many times. It's a really interesting start that pulls in the reader.

Oh man! I loved this story so much! I'm so glad they ended up together! Perfect ending!

I really liked this story, it reallly is amazing! Can't wait to read some more of your stories... :)

awwwwww! That was so cuteeee! ;D

333333333

Awww like the scene out of James bond... its my favourite :)

I like your humor. It isn't erratic and annoying and brainless like the others'. I like the opening lines, they make me smile. I like the romance between Gemma and Daniel. This fic is so like Chasing Liberty. :))

I like the story so far.

but there are alot of things that contradict themselves. Once is that origially you said that Daniel wouldn't ever propose, not believing in marriage or something like that. then he says that he was a second away from proposing to eva, then in this chaper he says that he wouldnt ever again or something.

Another thing that's repeated, if that makes sense... is that, somewhere near the start Gemma says how she would want sunflowers as a present, rather than roses, much to Dan's surprise, then in chapter 11, she says she would want her wedding to have sunflowers in it, and Dan says, or thinks, the same thing again about the roses.

Also, at the end of chapter 12, Dan's friend states how Dan and Gemma used to hate eachother. I don't think that is really needed, it doesn't show so much in the story, and without it it seems more origianal, and un-cliche.

Hope I helped... if i did, no problem. :)

I. FRIGGIN. LOVE. THIS. STORY! This is, quite honestly, the best story I have read in a LONG time x

Hello Lady Femme Fatale ,

Very original username, you’ve got, I like it. Okay then, I’ve read your story “Stumble” and as I always do, I leave a review. I’ve got a lot on my hands for the moment, so it’s always nice to take a break and read a fanfiction story on FFN or a fiction, like this, on FP. Now, since I’m leaving a review, I’ve got to tell you about the things I liked, didn’t like that much and then of course, I’ve got to leave some constructive criticism.

POSITIVE:

No fight and no sex in immensely huge amounts. It’s actually awesome, since so many authors put importance on sex. It gets boring in the long run. Same thing for fighting, when people write fights and battles in general, it’s often very tedious and I get bored easily, but it wasn’t like that in this story. You had that one shooting scene and then the whole thing with the culprit; it was enough.

The beginning of the story was good. You had an introduction, and that’s something most people forget about. From my point of view, I kind of like the plot in general actually. It’s a little, little different from other stories – it’s not all sex/dry humour/crack all over the place/crazy characters and the list goes on . . . you wrote about something else.

Daniel’s persona was awesome, and I like the fact that he’s British. His attitude was great as well. For some reason I love British people, and thereby I nearly automatically loved Daniel at once. Yes, sue me. xD There were a few moments when I just wanted to take a step straight into this story and just be there.

You’re great with grammar, spelling and capitalization, as well as with the details, descriptions, emotions and realistic writing.

NEGATIVE:

You could have made it all longer; it seemed a bit rushed to me. That’s most likely because I’m used to reading stories with at least 80k words. This was at nearly 60k so it all seemed speeded up. But yes, something related to this is that it doesn’t seem as real. You don’t get to know about them in a slow pace, creating your own world around the characters, hence you can just be a spectator. When they said ‘I loved you’ it wasn’t trustworthy.

You've got very short chapters. I prefer them longer, but that's individual, so it's not really big thing.

Another minor thing is that usually when you have people with accents, you can change the words a little to make the words themselves use the accent. As for Daniel and his family, they’re British, so you could have altered the words in their dialogues a bit. (I did see you made the fotball/soccer comment, and made him say Mum instead of Mom, as well as use mate.)

I wanted to see some more. It was too short, and ended abruptly. Yes, I’m a sappy romantic.

That’s all I’ve got to say, and I’ve just very glad that you’ve written this story. I’ve said it once before, but really; this is a good story but some parts were just weird. Btw, I’m too lazy to go back and look for errors in this review, so you’ll just have to bear with me today. I’ve got to go back to work now, so that’s next on my list. Heeh, heeh.

Cheers,

Mi.

Aww... soo cute! :) Great story you have and awesome job on the writing! :)

Peace, Love and Happiness! :)

~Bubbly Girl

i really like the story

So, I just read this entire thing and I have to say that I absolutely adore it. It was wonderful, I loved every single second of it. I can't wait to read more from you. This was great.

I just finished reading the whole story I could not It's a great story and you did a great job writing it. Absolutely awesome!

I LOVED READING THIS STORY! I send the author 10 warm fuzzies just for writing it...thank you...lol

I would just love to say that you are an AMAZING writer.

As of today this is one of my favourite books.

They way you created the different emotions was just extraordinary.

Well done! I hope that you continue you to write because (if you don't mind me speaking for the human race) the world would be a lot less entertaining without you. :)

You truly are AMAZING...

...i hope you know that! ;)

x