|Reviews for Perfectly Imperfect|
| WishmiesterBeta chapter 1 . 5/21/2010
This is funny. I liked the beginning- the whole sex shop worker thing was interesting- and the end. Good work.
| HighOnBrokenWings chapter 1 . 9/19/2009
Okay... Some use of -'s thingies... Yes... - those - would be nice, it makes it flow better in the way that you've written it. Also, italics need to be put in some places to emphasise thought, or some specific words. Here, I'll give you an example.
"Should I tell them the truth or lie I pondered."
"Should" to "lie" should be in italics... And I'm not sure you even need the "I pondered" in there.
A lot of your sentences don't make a whole lot of sense, which is a shame really. This has a lot of potential, and you have a wide vocabulary, which is good.
You also switch between past and present tense, which adds to the confusion, for a skim reader like me.
Uhm. I feel like I've been really mean, and critical and stuf... But I didnt mean for it to seem that way :D Sorry.
| chel bel chapter 1 . 9/19/2009
Well, I like the beginning of this story, and the plot seems interesting, but to be honest it was really hard for me to get through this due to all the grammar problems I found. I suggest you get a beta or someone to look your story over for you before you post because there were a lot of missing commas and punctuation errors that really distracted me from the actual story. Other than that, though, I thought it was well written. I've never read a story about a character who works in a sex shop, and so far the main character seems interesting. I think you could really go places with this story. Keep writing! :)