|Reviews for When Life Gives You Pens|
| Anihyr Moonstar chapter 4 . 10/14/2012
I like how in three short lines, this manages to tell a story. Many haikus do I suppose, but this one in particular comes off as laced with a twining story around it, and I automatically find myself wondering more about the girl and who might have stopped to give her the note. I think it's impressive that you cram so much into such a small space.
I also like the mental picture that comes with it - it almost looks like the page off of some Christmas book in my head: a grey scene where the single bill is the only splotch of color. Makes me nostalgic.
| Anihyr Moonstar chapter 3 . 10/14/2012
I like the concept here. The idea of throwing not something physical, but a mental hurt, directly into an open flame and watching it burn is very pleasing. I also like the imagery that goes with it. It's surreal, but vivid, especially in the last line.
| Anihyr Moonstar chapter 2 . 10/14/2012
I like how clearly you portray your image here. The concept of a passionate romantic night comes across immediately. I don't really like the specific phrasing "night to remember" though, since it's sort of a set phrase. In such a short piece like haiku, it feels like each segment (in most cases) should show off the poet's voice alone and their originality. Might just be me, though.
| Anihyr Moonstar chapter 1 . 10/14/2012
I like the imagery presented by this. "War torn, corrupted," and "color-faded" present a very vivid, tattered picture - as though our world is a canvas stained, ripped, and paling under the weight of all its worries. I also like the question; it gets the reader thinking.
- Moonstar, Review Courtesy of the Review Game’s Review Marathon! (Link in my profile.)
| Myself chapter 11 . 10/23/2010
I love your collection of haikus- my favorite was the beggar girl one.
| simpleplan13 chapter 10 . 6/20/2010
I love the parody with the life gives you lemon. It was really creative and funny. I also thought the piece flowed well. Sometimes phrasing in haikus is awkward because of the syllable count. The last line sounded odd to me. I think it's putting hte word damn between something. Maybe it's just me though. Still nie piece, cute and definitely relateable for people on fp.
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| nickyO chapter 10 . 3/23/2010
Actually I love the swear (not always the case, for me) in this one, it definately has a purpose and helps you to "hear" the poem. Good work, keep writing, turn that block into a building.
| nickyO chapter 9 . 2/24/2010
So true. ;)
| nickyO chapter 7 . 2/24/2010
I like this question because I've come to the conclusion that the only answer is to strive to "be" the friend that doesn't let his/her friends down. And to understand that life being what it is, you might from time to time fail, still that's when you try harder. :)
Very thoughtful poems so far, by the way.
| nickyO chapter 4 . 2/24/2010
Great picture/moment put into words.
| frugale chapter 9 . 2/23/2010
One of the best so far. I admire your sort of 'matter-of-factly' haiku skill.
| frugale chapter 6 . 2/23/2010
That one was pretty cool. Words fell in place effortlessly! Awesome.
| frugale chapter 5 . 2/23/2010
Again, amazing last line.
| frugale chapter 1 . 2/23/2010
'color faded world'
REALLY liked that line.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/21/2010
I like this because it asks a really great question. One that we all wonder about sometimes.
I love the last line. That descriptions is really great. I've never thought of describing the world like that, but it fits so perfectly.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile.)