Reviews for When Life Gives You Pens
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 7 . 10/14/2012
I like the meaning in this. I think it's something everyone can relate to - we all want to know we have friends (or at least A friend) who will be there through anything.

This is one of those cases though where I think the writing itself is watered down with unneccesaries - all those little words (taking up syllables) that don't add any depth of meaning to the piece.

- Moonstar, Courtesy of the Review Game's Review Marathon! (Link in my profile.)
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 6 . 10/14/2012
I like the tone of this. It's faintly melancholic, but mostly simply resigned, and I think it fits perfectly with the situation it presents. I also like that it's highly relatable. Everyone *does* get those days, and that makes its meaning stick.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 5 . 10/14/2012
Aww - I like the emotion you get across in this. Very sad, but well-portrayed. I also like your last line in particular "lost in folds of time" - it almost makes friendship seem like this physical, prized token that, if not looked after, can get tangled up in an old shirt or tucked under a curtain and never found again. Anyway, it's a neat phrase.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 4 . 10/14/2012
I like how in three short lines, this manages to tell a story. Many haikus do I suppose, but this one in particular comes off as laced with a twining story around it, and I automatically find myself wondering more about the girl and who might have stopped to give her the note. I think it's impressive that you cram so much into such a small space.

I also like the mental picture that comes with it - it almost looks like the page off of some Christmas book in my head: a grey scene where the single bill is the only splotch of color. Makes me nostalgic.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 3 . 10/14/2012
I like the concept here. The idea of throwing not something physical, but a mental hurt, directly into an open flame and watching it burn is very pleasing. I also like the imagery that goes with it. It's surreal, but vivid, especially in the last line.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 2 . 10/14/2012
I like how clearly you portray your image here. The concept of a passionate romantic night comes across immediately. I don't really like the specific phrasing "night to remember" though, since it's sort of a set phrase. In such a short piece like haiku, it feels like each segment (in most cases) should show off the poet's voice alone and their originality. Might just be me, though.

- Moonstar
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 1 . 10/14/2012
I like the imagery presented by this. "War torn, corrupted," and "color-faded" present a very vivid, tattered picture - as though our world is a canvas stained, ripped, and paling under the weight of all its worries. I also like the question; it gets the reader thinking.

- Moonstar, Review Courtesy of the Review Game’s Review Marathon! (Link in my profile.)
Myself chapter 11 . 10/23/2010
I love your collection of haikus- my favorite was the beggar girl one.
simpleplan13 chapter 10 . 6/20/2010
I love the parody with the life gives you lemon. It was really creative and funny. I also thought the piece flowed well. Sometimes phrasing in haikus is awkward because of the syllable count. The last line sounded odd to me. I think it's putting hte word damn between something. Maybe it's just me though. Still nie piece, cute and definitely relateable for people on fp.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile)
nickyO chapter 10 . 3/23/2010
Actually I love the swear (not always the case, for me) in this one, it definately has a purpose and helps you to "hear" the poem. Good work, keep writing, turn that block into a building.
nickyO chapter 9 . 2/24/2010
So true. ;)
nickyO chapter 7 . 2/24/2010
I like this question because I've come to the conclusion that the only answer is to strive to "be" the friend that doesn't let his/her friends down. And to understand that life being what it is, you might from time to time fail, still that's when you try harder. :)

Very thoughtful poems so far, by the way.
nickyO chapter 4 . 2/24/2010
Great picture/moment put into words.
frugale chapter 9 . 2/23/2010
One of the best so far. I admire your sort of 'matter-of-factly' haiku skill.
frugale chapter 6 . 2/23/2010
That one was pretty cool. Words fell in place effortlessly! Awesome.
40 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 Next »