|Reviews for A Crystal Heart|
| eiyuang999 chapter 1 . 5/25/2010
Discount Nike air jordans ( )
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Discount Nike Air Max 2004 Shoes Wholesale
| indigo-blue chapter 4 . 10/9/2009
I knew Sweet Dream would come into it somewhere! *wins*
It's a bit... difficult to read.
Some of it is really good, but there's other bits where there really should be a full stop and it should be two sentences, or you really, really need to put some commas in there. That sort of thing. (Come on, you know I'm a grammar nazi)
Full stops on the end of “Exactly!” Lottie said. Talking of which, full stops *at all* would be an improvement.
And huh? should have another h in it, you're (with an e) not on msn now.
I actually full on love Lottie.
Can you make it a bit less rushed? More detail in the wierdy bits?
And no man/boy/bretheren of whatever says 'so', I'm sure.
Sorry, that's a really harsh review! I'm only trying to help.