Reviews for A Crystal Heart |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() Discount Nike air jordans ( ) Discount Nike Air Max 90 Sneakers ( ) Discount Nike Air Max 91 Supplier ( ) Discount Nike Air Max 95 Shoes Supplier ( ) Discount Nike Air Max 97 Trainers ( ) Discount Nike Air Max 2003 Wholesale ( ) Discount Nike Air Max 2004 Shoes Wholesale ( ) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey Sarah I knew Sweet Dream would come into it somewhere! *wins* It's a bit... difficult to read. Some of it is really good, but there's other bits where there really should be a full stop and it should be two sentences, or you really, really need to put some commas in there. That sort of thing. (Come on, you know I'm a grammar nazi) Full stops on the end of “Exactly!” Lottie said. Talking of which, full stops *at all* would be an improvement. And huh? should have another h in it, you're (with an e) not on msn now. I actually full on love Lottie. Can you make it a bit less rushed? More detail in the wierdy bits? And no man/boy/bretheren of whatever says 'so', I'm sure. Sorry, that's a really harsh review! I'm only trying to help. ~Indy x |