Reviews for my african eventoed ungulate mammal
she smolders chapter 1 . 10/7/2009
There's a certain grace in your poetry that I love reading. And the way you describe this girl is beautiful and earnest in a way that makes me feel a little in love with her too. Take care.
for shame chapter 1 . 10/7/2009
this is beautiful.

it's the strangest comparison i've read for a while, but it's so lovely and peaceful that i can't help but love it. there's a very calm, "i understand" sort of tone to this poem.

you amaze me, yet again.

mezzie chapter 1 . 9/26/2009
lovely... so much wonderful phrasing in this that sinks in and resonates well with your line "I ruminate her name, tasting it twice, until I've turned it inside out"

there is an excellent balance and rhythm to the beginning - "bend knee, life, pose, consider"

very nice :)
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 9/26/2009
This is interesting and creative. I like it.
Isca chapter 1 . 9/25/2009
"She moves like a giraffe through a river bend." Beautiful simile. The 'nature' imagery here is both vivid and serene.

"Quietly exploding." Excellent. I love when writers use oxymorons like this.

"Beg for her footprints." Interesting.

"I'd like to speak to her." I like that this line is relatable-we all tend to 'freeze up' when we meet someone and are shy around them.

"My african, even-toed, ungulate mammal." Brilliant.

"I have a second heart." FASCINATING! :D
Mirabella chapter 1 . 9/23/2009
This sounds like a song! And it's lovely and very unique. :)
softersin chapter 1 . 9/22/2009
interesting and very beautiful!