Reviews for Ghoulish Opals
in theory chapter 1 . 10/1/2009
I found your first line fascinating, it briefly made me feel superior being British, with our apparent richer heritage/history etc, even though I don't know any of it nor care to learn really! It's something nice to lay claim to though every once in awhile, as Eddy Izzard said in San Fran..."Ahh Europe, that's where history comes from." It's kind of like being part of a more secure background?

"fat Americanisms" is funny, it's actually quite scary how much my country has suddenly become a wannabe state of America, my English tutor refers to EVERYTHING as an Americanism. Not that this is a bad thing, but some people desperately cling to the idiosyncracies of their country and get quite upset if you even hint that we're a global species nowadays.

I like how you date back 9 months before you were born and describe that scene in relation to your birthstone; knowing that you're a Scorpio made that much clearer to me.

"peopling the world, as people do" hehe I love this, it's a funny-sounding alliteration, almost makes me thinking of little meerkats that have secretly colonised a whole savannah and only occasionally peep their heads out in acknowledgement of their dominion hehehe.

"I was never stupid, though/I faked it for a few years" I think this was my favourite line in the piece, it kind of agrees with my view on childhood. I dislike the idea that children see the world the most clearly because they're not blinded by the emotions of adulthood, responsibilities and etc. But I disagree and think this is exactly why they don't see anything more clearly; they don't have the tools to interpret what they experience. Even though I'm a huge fan of children's authors I don't think there's anything magical about childhood, it's simply faking stupidity for a few years, hiding behind innocence and immaturity, and people not expecting you to be clever yet.

"a rhinestone set of

bulbous earrings, that sparkle like I’m more

important that the beauty of them." This is beautiful, the simile is so original.

"symbolism has more to do with perception" I think this is spot-on, although I'm not quite sure what you mean by "occupation" as an alternative?

Keep up the beautiful work,

Jack

(I read this ages ago but had no time to review at the time, so apologies for the delay)
kit feral chapter 1 . 9/25/2009
I love the stories you tell. They're so personal, but I can always relate slightly.

I was never stupid, though

I faked it for a few years.

I love that line.

Great work.
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 9/24/2009
The first few stanzas, and even the rest of the poem, was amazing. Such clever imagery.

Correction:

{and yet, my father never kissed

my mothers lips in front of me, my

mother never reached for my fathers

boney hand.} mother's. father's.

Not sure if the missing apostrophes is intentional.
Isca chapter 1 . 9/24/2009
"I have no heritage." What an intriguing opening line!

"Nothing before womb flipping." I think this line would be more impactful if 'flipping' was 'flopping.'

"Misanthropic." Excellent diction.

"Even with my infancy still ripe, pluckable." The word 'pluckable' works so well in this context. This line is so eye-catching and avant-garde.

"Peopling the world as people do." This is truly a masterful line. Wow. :D
Eternal Skies chapter 1 . 9/23/2009
i liked the feelings here, your words gave me a chilling atmosphere for a reason and i heard your voice speaking, cold. and i liked the narration, and the deep meaning behind this poem, it's like you're saying you're not special or you feel lame/ordinary (what i got from reading this), and i kinda feel the same.

what i didn't like here is the use of verbosity, i felt like your writing was a bit complicated for normal people to understand. yeah, it's good to add more describing words, and adjectives that are not repeated zillion times in a poem but then when they're too many, they make you feel dizzy a bit when reading 9what happened with me) and a little harder to interpret their meaning. the whole point of the poem is the message and meaning, not just the way it looks and the use of high language.

but overall, i enjoyed it.