|Reviews for Touch The Sky|
| Chesterfield chapter 2 . 10/24/2009
Excellent. Very well written and well crafted. I'm glad you didn't just info dump us at the beginning and gave us a little credit to figure test the waters and make our own assumptions before to explained it to us. It's an interesting sort of affliction/ability that definitely appears as though it causes a lot of grief.
My only problem, however, is the dialogue. It's very cookie-cutter cliches that sound totally unnatural. I guess it makes sense for Alexander to have really airey speech, but Natasha seems to do it as well and she doesn't strike me as the type who is so insightful. When the bad guy was shouting things like, "Dogs need to be put to sleep!" it was sort of silly sounding, like out of an old 80s movie. This is unfortunate because your narration is beautiful and unique, but it all gets kind of offset by the cliche dialogue. Try to look out for things like that and create your own unique dialogue which is specific for your characters.
In the end, keep going!