Reviews for Protection
skyward squidly squee chapter 1 . 10/3/2009
Flow- It was pretty good throughout.

Imagery- I basically just had this image of darkness, then a broken glass window and two people alone holding each other in a room. The imagery wasn't bad, but it wasn't too amazing.

Word Choice- It was all pretty good, nothing seemed to wordy or like it didn't fit. There was nothing terribly interesting either, though.

Enjoyment- Yeah. Bottom line, I did like reading this. With the fact that this was supposed to be positive and about someone, I was surprised with the second stanza being only about the pain. But with the way you made the rest of the poem, it all fit pretty well, the amount about the past and the amount about protection and the other person. I liked how it led up to the end, and I also liked the last line for an ending.

The tone and rhythm of this poem went in really well with the subject and everything. And honestly, this poem was alright, but I didn't love it. ;P I can see you're improving, though. Keep it up!

giant squid.
bipedalcooney chapter 1 . 9/30/2009
Nice imagery. With the rhythm, however, I think this would flow better if it was written as prose or even a short story. This poem made me curious and I wanted to know more about these people and their situation. It's an interesting circumstance. Wonderfully written nonetheless. Keep up the great writing!
Black Sparrow chapter 1 . 9/28/2009
Whether you failed or not, it was a great story. I loved it. So sweet _
ranDUMM chapter 1 . 9/27/2009

Aw *feels like crying* I don't know why :P But it was gorgeous :) I loved it! Great work!

Mandisaurus-rex chapter 1 . 9/27/2009
Ahh the turmoils of war and love. Very sad! But at the same time uberly sweet ). I love, love, love how they were in a storage room, but she made it sound like they were in Heaven. It was her lil Heaven ). I like it ! But there's just one little typo... 5th stanza, 'They couldn't fine me.' Me thinks it should be find... Unless you intended it be fine, as in like charging money... Sorry, I don't wanna be mean, but some people like those pointed out ).

~ Mandie
Filly and Phips chapter 1 . 9/27/2009
ok- it's still angsty! dude Epic Fail!

but of course I can't help but love it.(even if it is all het and shit)
HighOnBrokenWings chapter 1 . 9/27/2009

This wasnt really angsty... Nah... Pretty good actually :D Very positive.

"Flickers of moonlight,

In the storage room window.

It was only us,

And we were safe."

I really liked thos lines, not that I didnt like the whole piece, but you get my drift, right? Nice work :D