|Reviews for Her Story His Story|
| Eiya Weathes chapter 1 . 1/23/2010
I love the way you presented each of their point of views.
There are traces of humor in the fight that I enjoyed well.
Such as this one: “I was throwing myself at him was I? And what gave you that impression? The fact that the first thing I said to him was “I’m here watching my BOYFRIEND perform”? Or the fact that he told me he was looking for some company until his FIANCE arrived?” she retorted.
I can definitely say that this is a job well done.
- . . Amethyst Penn
| lenavis chapter 1 . 1/9/2010
Ahahahaha last line win.
why do we end up staying with our boyfriends, stupid as they may be...?
yeah, I don't know either :)
the way you presented both viewpoints was really interesting, it let you gain perspective of how extreme/trivial the entire affair was - and the differing reactions really let you get a sense of both characters' personalities...
well done! I'll go take a look at your other stuff too. :D
| Aero's Twin chapter 1 . 1/6/2010
This was a surprisingly cute and funny one-shot. It was very short, but it got the point across. I like your demonstration that the same event can be seen very differently from separate points of view. Very nice comic remarks throughout, I chuckled pretty often while reading this.
Corrections: At the very beginning of His Story you said "We were in the midst of a domestic." Domestic's the adjective with no noun to follow. Maybe you should say "domestic disturbance" or something following that idea. In his story, he also flashes an “aware winning” smile. Obviously you mean award.
Other than these minor grammatical errors, I really enjoyed reading this story. Great work.
- Xerox of RH
| YFIQ chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Things happens due to misunderstanding. Great work on the characters' point of views.
| taerkitty chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Nice opening. There isn't the usual 'introductory question' but the strong voice and emotion makes up for it.
The setup for the conflict is a little confusing. I'm not sure why the specific nature of "dancing topless with half the male cast of Supernatural" - the exact act, only half the cast, and a specific show. It may be she has a penchant for hyperbole, or this may be significant. Unsure, but this disrupts the story's flow in my eyes.
Good 'chapter' ending. It's a chapter, even if it's only three paragraphs.
"In the midst of a domestic." I don't think that's correct. "Domestic disturbance," perhaps?
Why do guys think women are sexy when they're furious? Doesn't that just give them justification to toss more provcation into the fire?
"Not that I was counting" - love the line.
Hate to tell you this, female protag, but all lawyers are sleazy. All of them.
"before my Great Aunt Susan’s dinnerware became just like my Great Aunt Susan, extinct." I like the line, but 'extinct' doesn't quite fit.
A winning smile is a risky gambit. Maybe have him think it for a second and try for it?
Story closes in a good way. It's positive, light, and funny. I can't say it's memorable, but it's dynamic enough, and with a positive ending such that I feel the time reading it was well spent.
Thank you for the smile.
| Variable estrella chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
Great story! Very funny XD "...before my Great Aunt Susan’s dinnerware became just like my Great Aunt Susan, extinct" lmao!
| Mandisaurus-rex chapter 1 . 10/20/2009
Hahaa! I loved this! For some reason I couldn't stop laughing at the line, “Enough. Stop destroying all of our plates. You’re being immature.”
Hahaha! "Stop destroying all our plates..." LOL! That's hysterical. Anyways, this gave me a great laugh! Great work
| ranDUMM chapter 1 . 10/5/2009
hahaha this was great! Favourite line:
“I was throwing myself at him was I? And what gave you that impression? The fact that the first thing I said to him was “I’m here watching my BOYFRIEND perform”? Or the fact that he told me he was looking for some company until his FIANCE arrived?” she retorted.
ROFL! Great work :D:D
| twyx chapter 1 . 10/3/2009
Omg! I cant believe no one reviewd! Its short and sweet and i love it!
| Aaerie chapter 1 . 10/3/2009
lolz "and u didnt even buy me a drink