|Reviews for A Lot in Life|
| Lola Waters chapter 1 . 10/3/2009
I loved reading this, I really did. The story in general reminds me of myself (I'm a lesbian and have heard comments because of that and everything else people have criticized Adia for) and how I used to feel about my fellow human beings and my lovers. The last paragraph was beautiful, especially the closing sentence. It made me, personally, feel hopeful.
I just want to get some spelling/grammar out of the way.
1: "...and bits of her soul to any being that came fourth and asked for it." ("Fourth" should be "forth.")
2: "Why turn away from a situation where you could get hurt, only to run into a wall that was guaranteed to hold you back. Why horde your spirit and your soul for yourself, when it was created to be released into the universe around you." (These should both end with question marks.)
3: "... it was time for her to step in, and accept herself, which she did as she stepped into the cold flow of the creek." (You used the same word, "step"/"stepped," twice.)
As I said before, I loved this. I'll be sure to check out "The Feeling of Flight."