|Reviews for Enemy|
| cubrman chapter 9 . 8/24/2012
I know my review comes too late and nobody really cares about it by now, but I will still write it. I should also say that I have no idea who you guys are and what this site is about, I came here because I was searching for a story about a spaceship crashed on an uninhabited planet. Last word before I start the review, I cannot state that I have read that many novels in my life, so take my review as just another small opinion.
So let's begin. I was uncomfortable with the lupine/fox setting. My personal opinion is that this particular story could work quite well with humanoids. I have two reasons for that: first, it felt awkward to read about paws/licking/etc, and second, though human-like-animals work well in child stories, in science fiction books they are out-of place. Call it cliché, but though my mind is quite comfortable digesting humanoid-like aliens in sci-fi books, it rebels when I read about wolfs with plasma rifles. When I first read that the narrator is a wolf, I thought that I misunderstood the words. For me as a reader it is too much to swallow both the future technologies and speculations about space travel together with furry animals exercising them. Almost the entire story I read substituting the animals with men in my head. But I cannot say that it was a big setback for me. Just a slight distraction.
Second. Let us forget about the foxes and focus on the story. It is a small piece of text so I understand one cannot really do much, but the story is simple adventure with a happy-end and nothing more to it. However, the story is done solidly, that I must admit. Never have I felt it being inconsistent or "unreal". With the rules the author had laid out, every twist of the story comes as a consistent and logical situation, that could happen under those circumstances. The world of the book is believable, and it is VERY IMPORTANT for me as a reader. When you read what seems as an interesting story and then suddenly get "pushed out of the book" because a situation described in the book fells far-fetched and illogical it feels terrible. I must agree with Elber of Torou that the torture scene was EXCEPTIONALLY solid, very well done. The dialogues are done very well too. So concerning the story I have only one problem: for me the overall story wasn't powerful enough. Just another story. The story twists were not thrilling, I never really felt that I long to know what happened next, never quite caught myself guessing what could happen next. In the beginning I put high hopes on the unknown second survivor, but when it was revealed I can't say I was satisfied. It was then when I rendered the book as "just another story" and kept on reading just in case I find some nice details about future men surviving on an uninhabited planet. I also can't say I cared about the faith of the heroes that much. So that's for the story.
Well that's my opinion. It is neither intended to insult nor to blame anyone. The true intention behind this review is just to express a reader's opinion that might in the future be taken into consideration when writing another story. Good luck!
| Elber of Torou chapter 9 . 3/5/2010
Bravo. Bravo. This is very, very nice. You have a well-executed ending, bitter-sweet and not happily-ever-after, but just happy enough to fit the overall tone. I really enjoyed the characters, and the wolf/fox/bear interplay. Very good.
I would like to point out that you could probably edit it a bit-there were several detracting errors scattered throughout.
BUT-oh, this was so good. Chapter 8 is a masterpiece of a torture scene; the suspense built up throughout is elegant and enticing...
| Elber of Torou chapter 4 . 2/20/2010
Very vivid emotion from the fox. This is a great anti-slave commentary. I can't wait to read more.
| Dachande663-ff chapter 9 . 1/5/2010
Another beautiful story, sewed up so well at the end. Really enjoyed this one, felt like a perfect offshoot of your previous work and highly recommended to anyone looking for a good original work of fiction to read. Can't wait to see what you write next, regardless of whether it is an expansion upon this universe you've so deftly created or something new altogether.
| Arv chapter 8 . 12/30/2009
A good read, as far as Chapter 8.
I want to read the rest of the story!
The inter-racial and slave & master plot is very good. Might not be appreciated by some bigots, and not understood by others. But it does need to be said, and you are doing a good job of that. There is potential here for a masterpiece novel if you can keep the plot going forward along these lines, and still keep it interesting as well.
Well written (no spelling errors, or poorly constructed sentences), with both an interesting story (action, action, action) and a social line woven together in a professional manner.
| Dachande663-ff chapter 8 . 12/30/2009
I really am at a loss for words, without a shadow of a doubt. That opening note was definitely needed to help relieve some of the sheer terror of the later paragraphs, it was just amazing what you managed to craft in such a short space of time. Truly, to make a reader care for a character that deeply in such a barren environment is amazing. I honestly hope they both make it out alive and also get to remain together. Please, you have to continue.
| Dachande663-ff chapter 7 . 12/24/2009
Wow, only one of the twists this chapter was expected. As always top notch writing, you love leaving your audience on a cliffhanger and I'm not ashamed to say I can't wait to read what happens next. Great work.
| Dachande663-ff chapter 6 . 12/13/2009
Ohh, finally get to meet the elusive bears mentioned so oft. And I can have a few guesses as to what could be wrong with the fox but at this stage in the game nothing I'd be willing to bet on. Can't wait to see how this affects the duo's chances. Great work as always, keep up the bril efforts.
| Dachande663-ff chapter 5 . 11/8/2009
Absolutely brilliant, great to see you re-using the whole Lupine/Vulpine Universe again. Great story, nice to see the characters developing, can't wait to see what happens if and when they're found.
| Jarvis 51 chapter 5 . 11/8/2009
I don't really have a whole lot to say this time, but then again; do I ever?
I liked how you've "built up" Nate as a character. I really enjoyed how you took the time to get his "clay" soft enough to work with, expand, and change him as a character. I would have liked to see some more description in this chapter, and a little more work on Tatania. She came off as hateful in the beginning of the chapter, and does a 180 at the end for no apparent reason.
Write more soon!
| Jarvis 51 chapter 4 . 10/31/2009
Very powerful. Great use of the dialogue here. I really like the vixen. She knows what she wants, needs, and how to get it. In fact, if I may be so bold, she actually sounds attractive, course I am biased. I find that kind of personality attractive. lol :)
Keep up the good work! Write more soon!
| Barbados chapter 3 . 10/19/2009
So Let's Go!
Curiouser and curiouser...
Nice chappy, all though I was thrown in the beginning because I had forgot where 2 left off but knew that it wasn't where 3 began, exactly... only it kinda was, just not on the surface... anyway. Good fun.
| Jarvis 51 chapter 3 . 10/18/2009
Hm... our furry fiends seem to have anger management issues. (yes, fiends.)
| Jarvis 51 chapter 2 . 10/9/2009
You had me worried with those first two lines. But yeah it makes sense what you're doing to him. Makes him a little easier to work with in some ways and harder to work with in others.
I didn't see any glaring errors that absolutely could not be allowed to live.
NO! you ended it right there! what's going to happen next?
-Fearsome monstrosity come to eat him?
-Brain sucking Zombie? actually zombies imply human presence and I doubt that in this story.
-Powerful warrior come to take him prisoner?
-Foxy maiden come for his "rescue"?
Please write more soon.
| Barbados chapter 2 . 10/9/2009
A solid chapter, rather enjoyable despite being full of a lot of jargon. Seems like you broke it up nicely.