Reviews for Flight
musiclover16 chapter 1 . 2/7/2011
that is so sweet i love it! How did he get to the ship though? did Briand go to get him when he locked her into her room? i love how you made it so action filled but romantic at the same time! once again i love it! P
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
That was a good story. I wish there was more, but it was well written. I like Vitoria and Jarred.

The only things were that there were a few parts that could be told instead of shown (more conveying of emotions to make it effective for the readers.)Also, I noticed that some of the dialogue lines end in a period. If the next sentence is an action [ex: He grinned.], then it's correct. If it's a tag [ex: he said.], then it should be a comma instead.

But a very good job. :-)



{The then took a moment to turn his gaze to the rider.} "The then" confused me. I think it's supposed to be "He then."

{He had o grab a hold of Moonlights reins so as to make the horse stop; Vitoria wasn’t listening to him either.} "o" should be "to."

{“This is my horse, you’re walking off with.”} I don't think there should be a comma after "horse" (or is it correct?)