It's definitely unique and different. I like it a lot. Nice work!

cliche?

Is this girl supposed to be you? Because I swear, only you would fall in love with someone's EYES. And they should be green, woman!

But seriously, I'm a little confused, but in a good 'they're in the own little world where they understand each other' way. I don't know where you're freaky little mind conceived this idea, but it's pretty ace. To use a cliché, short and sweet. Probably a heapload better than anything I've ever written, you just have to look at the titles of my stories to know that. Good job! I like your writing style.

And you'll be pleased to know I couldn't find any grammatical errors at first glance. Although you probably combed through it already, knowing I'd be one to look for them.

But yeah. Awesome story, loved the cupcake, the guy, give him green eyes and I'm there. And don't let the lack of '!' get you down. You know me. I don't really do '!'.

ps. your a/n signs off as lix. if it was on purpose, I like it. If it was accidental, I still like it. ;)

OMGSH Liz! That was fabulous!

You made fp so much more rewarding (after my experience with Not For Me)! lol

It was so amazing and romantic and beautiful!

Congratulations! You're a fantastic writer! :)

Can't wait to give you a big hug at school!

um... seriously... where do you get all this inspiration from? it is really good! and so simple, and so sweet, but still has some of your random humor chucked into it! i loved it! but yeah, agree with 'crimson sugar' whoever that is... longer paragraphs can be annoying to read. maybe its cos i am wearing my contacts, and im tired... but still... wow...cool story!

and...

wait for it...

Damn girl! Kick Ass Story!

(and lots of exclamation marks!)

i love the cupcake. Will you make me one?

This story is amazing, and I especially love the little details you've added, it makes it seem so much more real..

the only suggestion i have is to separate the paragraphs a little more - it's a bit uncomfortable having to read huge blocks of text.

other than that, i love it :)

HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AMAZING (excuse my language) ]

This was... I am speechless! I loved the ending and ... every part of it! Please keep writing! This is going in my favourites :))

Oh, I absolutely love this! It's so sweet and simple, just enough detail, and the imagery is amazing! Thank you so much for submitting this! Keep it up :D