|Reviews for Lucky Four: Demons and Friends|
| Nyx'sReincarnation chapter 15 . 5/6/2012
YOU. HAVE. GOT. TO. BE. KIDDING ME!
Oh, I loved your story BTW. I'd say it was depressing, but I guess there's no way to make a story not depressing when the main character herself is depressed...
Keep up the great work!
| TheSuperHyperEmo chapter 14 . 8/1/2010
Awesome! You're a really good writer, I wonder why you really don't have that many reviews! Well, heres another one to add to your list! )
| betta-than-u chapter 12 . 1/5/2010
wow another gr8 chapter. cnt wait to read the rest. plz update soon.
| betta-than-u chapter 3 . 1/4/2010
yea it's me again :p yea so I was just wondering if you were going to do the last scene cause it kinda ended weirdly, so yea I thibk u rushed it. Apart frm that yea it was really good tho. Plz tho don't forget not to hav to big a paragraphs because it's really off putting to the reader. Anyway gonna read the nxt chapter nw :D
| betta-than-u chapter 2 . 1/4/2010
wow a really good second chapter. I think I will review every chapter to increase ur amount of reviews lol. Unless u dn want me 2? Anyway gd chapter an cnt wait to read the rest :)
| betta-than-u chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
wow fantastic start to the story. I seriously can't wait to find out what the plot is :). Please add some more elemental stuff in though.
| Fairytale x chapter 11 . 12/24/2009
This is so good! I loved this chapter. The end bit was very sad, when she tried to kill herself again. You described it very well, like it was actually happening and this made it very creepy.
I love the friends. I think Leeya's my favourite. And Demi. I had to tell you this, because the parts when they are in the story are my favourite parts.
I can't believe you still don't have many reviews! I've read stories with more than 200 reviews that arn't as good as this. This is why I'm reviewing again. I think you deserve another one. c:
| vicki chapter 10 . 12/16/2009
great story it is so freakin awesom when will there be more and will she find out the source of the voice and will she kick its frikin ass dying to read more thanx
| Fairytale x chapter 1 . 12/16/2009
Finally finished. I'm sorry, I couldn't review until I had finished.
This story is awsome! I loved it and can't wait for more. It's such a shame it hasn't got many reviews because it is really good. The characters were realistic and I love how they are so different. The discription too, is really good. It's going onto my favourites. c:
| Danni chapter 1 . 10/15/2009
I told myself I would review at least the first chapter by the wedding this Saturday and I did! Woo! lol
Well done, Christy! I have to say one of my favorite things about your writing is your names, they're always so interesting and unique, without being unrealistic. I particularly like your choice of "Artemis." The way you tinker with the spelling of more ordinary names also has a cool effect (i.e. Leah vs. Leeya).
You establish a nice voice for your main character (Demi) in the beginning, but I feel like you get a little lost in all the dialogue and trying to explain the history of the group of friends as the first chapter progresses. The flashbacks are all very interesting (though I think some of the dialogue was a little too sophisticated for 5 year olds p) and established a sort of proof for the reader as to why these girls are all friends. It also highlights their various quirks in an entertaining manner.
I love how you described the control of the elements as "not magic" in the first two paragraphs.
I also really liked your description of Demetra playing with the air in the beginning. I'm surprised there wasn't more of that. I mean, these girls have been using these powers for over a decade now, I just feel like they would use it way more frequently as like casual fidgets or shortcuts in their daily lives. You can even simply make references to it between dialogue every once in a while. Like someone is out of water so instead of going up for a refill they casually flick their wrist and caress the water until it fills up the rest of the glass again, you know? I don't know if that's exactly how it works but you get what I mean, right? Little things like that. Just to make it more realistic.
Also, the descriptiveness you had in the beginning fades quickly as you get involved in your dialogue, which dominates the rest of this chapter. This is okay, especially because you have a knack for snappy and realistic dialogue, but I miss reading more expressive descriptions like the one of Demi twirling the air in the beginning. Throw more of those in every once in a while.
You also had a few very genuinely clever lines that I really liked. The one that stuck out to me the most was this: "although the silence loses its effect in the cafeteria where everyone is talking at the same time." That's just a smart comment. How it was supposed to be a cold silence but it just couldn't and didn't come across right because of the environment.
I'm interested to see where the plot takes these five very different girls. Can't wait to get more time to read the future chapters.
Keep up the good work, girl! ]
| foreverlasting24 chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
Hey. I think you have a pretty good few chapters, but of course, you want to get into the plot so the reader wants to read more. I love the interaction with the characters. It's very realistic dialogue. I like where you're going with it, and I hope you continue with it.