|Reviews for Little Dead Riding Hood|
| Cassie1521 chapter 1 . 12/6/2009
I like the dark side to our favorite classic character. Nice twist, but that just appeals to my dark side. Well done, favorited.
| delicate-death chapter 1 . 11/2/2009
I think this story was quite enjoyable. Your boredom must be awesome to be able to write something twisted like this. XD
| Snarkybum chapter 1 . 10/22/2009
Hehehehe, I love it. I think its so cool when people take stories and twist them, like fables or legends. I have to do one for my English class soon, trying to think of ideas...
| Jayna chapter 1 . 10/17/2009
ok haha well im Jayna i live in Texas and i am gonna be little dead riding hood for halloween this year its gonna be so pimp im gonna curl my hair and put red highlights and my hair is black so they r gonna be realy bright highlights and a bloody baggy puffy sleve shirt a checked reda dn black skirt and and ripped leggings and a silkey clean cutt beautiful cape and im gonna wear it with the hood on and im gonna ripp it off and grabb my knife out of the backet that i am gonna put a fake rubber hand in. tell me wat u think and what i should change please my e-mail is
| Patricia Louise chapter 1 . 10/14/2009
Oh, very dark. I love dark twists on fairy tales. I would have liked it a bit longer with a little more description on what Red had done, but I really liked it. Great job!
| RainbowNightmares chapter 1 . 10/11/2009
wow, really awesome!
| 8DaysTillSunday chapter 1 . 10/10/2009
This was fairly decent. Several grammatical errors, but thats fine. I enjoyed it. It was rather short, yet entertaining at that. Good job.
~Drac, from The Roadhouse
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 1 . 10/10/2009
Okay there. My brain is working weirdly now because I'm extremely looking forward to Ryougi Shiki's ending video on Youtube for Melty Blood Actress Again to finish loading. So yeah, I may not be able to go in depth in my review or even saying things that make sense. If you don't know what I'm saying on the video part, just take it as a random rambling from a gaming nerd. ;)
Okay, basically, I like the way you did an unexpected twist in the traditional Little Red Riding Hood tale in a sense that you actually came up with an original and dark take on the origins. This the good aspect of it. But there's some things you might need to take note here. Firstly, I assume she got killed by a wolf since the term animal was used here. But frankly speaking, an average wolf won't be able to kill a human being, much less an armed one. Another thing to note is that by the rules of nature, wild animals won't go out of their way to harm human beings no matter how aggresive they are. What I'm saying here is that I think you should do a certain account on how she got killed from the view point of her sister.
And the other issue I've got with this story is the fact that you've failed to flesh out on Little Red Riding Hood's character. It's good to introduce a certain twist on her nature, but what you've done here is only something that is pretty vague. yes we all know her evil nature, but you've failed to add a humane touch on that. By humane, I don't neccesarily mean the redeeming aspects. But rather, it's an absence on what exactly pushed her over the edge. Yes you did list the reason, but you've failed to explain how that reason caused her to succumb to her dark side.
I'm sorry if this review sounds harsh, but I don't mean to. Please don't be offended because quite frankyl, one of my greatest failings is how I actually phrase my words when I'm criticising something or someone. But don't feel too bad. You've got a good story here in terms of the concept. All you need to do in the future should you want to do a similiar work is to consider how you need to incorporate vital details to make the said work more appealing and real. :)
P.S: Pay back the review via The Eternal Grail
Add P.S: I remember you owe me two reviews lol! Just found that out after some random review snooping. :D
-From The Roadhouse. :)
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 10/10/2009
Very cool. I too like the idea of twisting fairy-tales. It would be great if you started a series. Just a suggestion ;)
| i88 chapter 1 . 10/10/2009
This a very creepy take on little red riding hood... I LOVE IT!
| TasogareNoKinRyu chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
I never want to start a review out negatively, so let me begin by saying that you hit the nail on the head with this. The "Fairy Tale from the NegaVerse" is a concept that has been explored to great detail lately, and you still were able to wrench an original concept from it.
You took a lot of creative license with the original work, and for such a short tale, it worked out nicely. I personally think that it's a direction that may not have culminated so well had it been much longer. You picked the perfect length for your content, so good job.
But - and I'm sure you knew this was coming - the grammatical errors are... pretty... substantial... I understand that this story is intentionally a thought-dump of something you enjoy, but the fact that the story is so short means those tiny errors are much more distracting from the core concept. I don't mean this in any rude manner, either. I just found myself rereading for the sake of comprehension, as opposed to feeling I missed detail.
It was simple and took the source in a different direction. Good Job.
| deactivated account sorry chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
LOL. This is crazy - in a good way. Okay...
First off, error in "with a bang to THEIR (not there) LIVES (not life)"
and secondly, "A group of people who's families HAD GOT hurt by her,..." sounds a little off. It sounds better like that: "A group of people who's families WERE hurt by her,..."
Thirdly, what happened next after the phrase "The big bad wolf..."? What was that supposed to mean?
I like the sentence in italics in the beginning. That caught my attention right away. (smile)
| The Ragin' Pagan chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
I'll be actively spotting errors and making suggestions, but a wrap up review will follow.
*(Except) to one little kid,
*be known in a fairy tale[,] as Little Red Riding Hood.
*they tell the little children they say she(')s sweet, (yet) they don't...
*"good saint" is a bit redundant. Perhaps "saintly child"?
*and had (learned) that by...
*The next sentence is a bit awkward. perhaps revise it to, "She had grown up with her, and had learned that no matter how long you knew someone, they could change in a matter of minutes."
*died that Red Riding hood (began to change.)
*She listened to no one, and killed to keep herself happy.
*With no guilt [inside her] whatsoever.
*She seemed to (take great) pleasure[,] (in hurting people.)
*it was just [like] a drug[,] that she had (become) addicted to.
*...the crimes she had caused(,) a group...
*who's families had (been) hurt by her[,] decided...
Well, sorry that I have a huge laundry list above. I swear it's all non-hostile. This was overall a very good story, with a nice slot for expansion. It would be great to see a more detailed account of her death, and how her sister killed Riding Hood.
Please repay with The Dragon's Gem (Spartan R41, not the other one.) I know it's long, but just review what you want to. If you choose to review multiple chapters, I'll pay you back with more of your stories. :)
| TymCon chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
I like this. I like how you made little red riding hood evil when hert parents died. And the end where you say little red riding hood was the big bad wolf. I also like how the sister wrote about the sweet little red riding hood and not the evil one.:P
Roadhouse review, pay it back to Eden:P