Reviews for Yankeetalking
we share our blanket with chapter 1 . 10/13/2009
we are only




in pelvis only.

I could not love this more. One of my new favorites.

I feel like quoting a whole stanza, but you wrote it, you know what it is. I absolutely fucking love from this line onward:

rhyme in time with the hour of the...

ah, I am so impressed. wonderful wonderful piece. keep it up.
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 10/12/2009
I like the varying lengths of the stanzas. It really adds to the theme of this poem. Very good word choice and imagery.



"with it's cotton-candy flavored teeth" its.
deefective chapter 1 . 10/12/2009
Hm, well on one hand I like this because I do think your writing is incredible. You have such an eloquent way of narrating that few people on this website posses. That eloquence also adds to the poetic feel of your writing, so that's always good. Also, I loved the repeated imagery of November. It wasn't so subtle but it carried well throughout the piece. On the other hand though, I felt like at times you were trying too hard. Some lines felt forced and that disrupted the flow. Not writing-wise but at some points in this piece, I felt as if you were trying hard to either sound poetic or to create some sort of multi-layered imagery. And it's a shame because you really don't need to try that hard to do so. But other than that, nicely done.