Reviews for Empty
S.L.Tempest chapter 1 . 10/13/2009
I like this a lot - you have a real economy of expression; getting your point across without using too many words. There's a sense of dynamicity in it which contrasts nicely with the lethargy you describe, and I particularly like the oxymoron in 'numbing vibrations', and the use of 'bloodless' with the other two to relate them all to your central theme. The hint at a more hopeful future 'beyond the clouds' in your final line is refreshing, too. Be careful about rhythm, though - it's mostly great, but a few lines are slightly clunky. Really enjoyed it though!