|Reviews for Swarm|
| Chesterfield chapter 2 . 10/17/2009
Hey! I just read this, and am eagerly awaiting more. What I really want to have is exposition...like, how exactly did JUST get this village get saved? Who are these characters? What are their motivations? What's been happening over the past 5-10 years that has shot the whole world down? I'm mostly confused, which is understandable because you're only a prologue and chapter in, but I expect you'll get to thorough explanation as it continues?
My only suggestion for future chapters as far as basic writing skills is concerned, would be I want more "showing" as opposed to "telling." There's a lot of "And then Max looked outside. And then Max looked at Lucy. And then Lucy asked a question." It's all very matter-of-fact. Your writing is gramatically sound, but there's not a lot of emotion in the actual narration.
Keep up the good work!