Reviews for Regan Saves the Drama Club!
The Tragedian chapter 1 . 12/30/2009
First, I would like too say...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...LOLOL! I had some much fun reading this chapter! You're quite good with subtle humor; it wasn't overdone or underdone. It was just right. Will read more soon!

Your very own Foppy dolly,

FH
Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 13 . 12/30/2009
Ha ha! As usual, I love the humor. It's funny, and the comments the characters throw at each other are just hilarious, especially Mr. Whit. He's the best and the funniest.

I'm curious to see what happened to Caleb, though. Maybe he got punched by his Dad while asking for a donation?

I look forward to the next chapter!
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 2 . 12/30/2009
I can't remember the last time a story made me laugh that much. It's great; I love your characters, and Regan especially has a really strong voice. Blaine just made me giggle quite a bit. I also like the small details you've included for minor characters; like the thing with Taylor's hand. And poor Regan, having to see Blaine act like that when she clearly likes him. Great start!
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 5 . 12/30/2009
Herro there from The Roadhouse again. Hopefully ya remember me. :) Anyway, this chapter is pretty much of a filler to me, but still it makes for entertaining read. Firstly on the talk with Tyler, it seems quite nice to see Regan's views on her starting to change even if it's only at the slightest. With that being said though, I'm inclined to believe that Tyler is a closet shota-con. You should know what this term means since you're an anime fan. ;) As for Miss Hughes, she really reminds me quite a lot of Fujimura Taiga of Fate Stay Night. As for the fundraiser thingy, well I assume the twins will be doing the planning. That will make things a bazillion times more interesting especially if Regan went batshit crazy as the result. The ending phrase of the chapter is such a major lol. I can really imagine Regan going nuts as the result. Yes, I'm that twisted. :D

P.S: Pay back via A Ranger's Tale since you've reviewed The Eternal Grail up till the updated chapter for now. :)

-From The Roadhouse. :)
cassandove chapter 13 . 12/30/2009
So much angst, so little time! :O

Well-done with the characterization, though.

Well...

Done.

:)
InkedSoul chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
Thanks for your warm welcome to the Roadhouse!

I've only read one chapter and I'm already liking it

I love Regan's uptight and stubborn behavior and her reactions toward Mr. Whit are hilarious. The ending of the story is great because it keeps the readers going further into the story and you've already informed us about what the main point of the story is. There are only a few minor errors in the chapter which can be easily fixed, besides that though I'm really loving it :]

-Currently adding story to Favs-
taerkitty chapter 4 . 12/29/2009
Mononoke! Love the 'product placement!'

"If you ever want to know what it’s like to hate your favorite book, just tell a bunch of high school kids to write about it." Great line! My family's all teachers. I gotta try that line on them!

"My best bet was [a] suffering insomniac."

"...cast and, huh. Let’s face it. The..." This should probably be set off by commas.

"It’s a good thing that you all picked a nice, family-friendly show like Godspell." Very nice. It sounds like something a teacher would say.

"Could you please not think about that walking set of boobs for two seconds?" Nice line, and I like how the way it's presented looks almost like a 'waking fantasy' shot from a television show.

"Will you quite finish?" Doesn't read right. "Are you quite finished?"

"I’m sure you do, since your quota for ridiculousness is easily filled." Nice.

"...verbally assault me and it ends up costing you your job..." Huh? I guess Regan has a flair for overstatement, but this may be too much.

"Thanks for failing at your job, Mr. Whit!" Same comment as above. Sounds too overblown. Also, decreases sympathies for Regan.

"I couldn’t help but smile as I realized that this was the first time anyone had played a prank on me out of love" hilarious!

Unsure about the ending. "But sort of nice at the same time" is a very good finishing line for a chapter. To have it and not use it as a conclusion means what takes it place must be much better. Unfortunately, I don't think it is that much better, if at all. "That could wait" is by no means terrible. It's just not very strong, certainly not as strong as "But sort of nice."

Another swimmingly-smooth chapter. Plot is developing at a steady pace. I was wondering if things were going too easy Regan. The twins are a riot. Glad you have this posted. It's very good.
taerkitty chapter 3 . 12/29/2009
I think girls can be snarkier. Guys just aren't as smart. v

"now in possession of my soul." Very nice. Funny.

"obsessive-compulsive wing?" Odd. I didn't see Regan as OCD. Maybe it's just the twins being weird. I mean weird in this way.

"so you should be accepting of our latest addition." I know we PMed in this, but Blaine is also stiff here.

Love the double-team patter the twins attack Regan with.

I wonder why Courtlyn didn't want to be vice president - sounds like her sort of thing, if not the actual office of president.

"Ignoring my mother's tendency to be morally bankrupt" love it. Very funny in that overstated way.

Ending is ... missing something. Given her 'voice', I was expecting some sarcastic rejection of that idyllic fantasy. Or, even if she doesn't shoot herself down, I was waiting for something that had her type of barbed humour in it.
Night Innocence chapter 13 . 12/29/2009
Haha my first thought was... GLEE.

But, after finishing all the current chapters, I've found that really only the basic concept is similar to glee and everything else is different.

I really like the teacher gal; she seems cool. Regan is hilariously sarcastically funny; maybe I wouldn't like her so much in real life, but who knows. I'm thinking that Courtlyn is being all moody because she likes Blaine and now Regan is sort of in the way?
Stanleylouis chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
ha ha, this sounds like an interesting story. I am very slow while reading stories, so it might take me a while to get to the current chapter, but I will do it! :)

Anyway, I like the story line of this! I like Regan, and Mr. Whit sounds hilarious. I'm off to the next chapter!
taerkitty chapter 2 . 12/29/2009
The opening sentence to Chapter 2 is adequate, but I feel it's a missed opportunity. Chapter 1 is quite strong, so the reader is sure to accept this, but it could also give some colour instead of just foreshadowing the character interaction.

The second paragraph reaffirms my earlier comment that her talking about her argyle sweaters in Chapter 1 is not the best way to offer that fact. This does so in an amazingly smooth way.

"Blaine would, too, obviously." Love the line. I think the first comma is in error. "Blain would also, obviously" works, so "Blain would too, obviously." A single word delimited by commas is usually a bad thing.

"My name is Regan Lenoir. I am accompanied by Blaine Knox. Could you kindly open the door?" Voice again.

"...that I just wanted to punch right off of it." The phrasing doesn't work for me. It could be a regional syntax. I don't get it.

"He pulled out his cellular device and put it on speakerphone..." Very stiff. I'd like to see more of Regan's reaction. "He pulled out his cell phone and began dialing. I mean, really? And then, as if that wasn't enough, he put it on speakerphone."

"I’m pretty sure this counts as sexual harassment." It's a good line, but doesn't quite fit. This is a trade-off. If the line doesn't work and can't be made to fit, it should go. Here, perhaps if Regan's narration gives some hint of amusement in Blaine's retort, that could work, but I don't want to take over the story for you.

"Upper right hand corner" doesn't work, unless this is a bi-level classroom.

"That she actually did have important buNsiness to attend to" has a typo, noted.

Tyler and Gideon's characterizations have helped me understand this is more over-the-top than I originally expected. I'm not sure if it invalidates my previous statements about Regan's stiff voice, however - I'm not sure if her character is meant to have an exaggerated maturity. In some areas, such as her interal monologues regarding Blaine and Tyler, she's about what I expect for a high school senior.

"We're trying to find the new AP Lit teacher" - I'd expect them to refer to her by name, especially when talking to the Vice Prinicpal. That they do so later in the paragraph doesn't change how I feel; I don't see them ever indicating Miss Hughes by subject instead by by name.

"Right, but probably inebriated mind" - I like her aside like this. Very funny.

I'm not sure I buy Miss Hughes, but given that this is a larger-than-life sort of setting, I'm very willing to give it, and her, time. Right now, she seems more defined by what she is not than anything she is. It seems as though she was created to not be the artsy Lit teacher, to be contrary to every staple and expected quirk. It's fine for the AP Lit teacher to not be like HSM's Montez, but the character should seem cohesive as well. Here, the character seems to simply be a collection of contradictions and rejections of the artsy-teacher stereotype, and no futher definition.

Excellent ending line. I lied about not reading further after Chapter 1, and did, but I'm afraid I'll have to stop here. (At the rate I'm going, you'll probably have another five chapters posted by the time I get to Chapter 13.)
taerkitty chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
Opening gambit is workable. I would phrase it differently - as it stands, "I could say with great certainty that my guidance counselor was very sick of seeing my face in his office," it is too stiff and does not bring to mind a high school student.

Introduction to the guidance counselor is not as strong. We have an inherent contradiction with him having to search for the file, and the later statement that he keeps it on hand. "Which would be totally acceptable" is a sentence fragment. While it could be argued high school students think and speak this way, they do that only when changing topics. When the previous sentence naturally fits, to not commit the thought to words in a way that reads smoothly is to seemingly deliberately confuse the reader.

"Mr. Whit, now is not the time for your acidic tone to be adding to my already fragile mental state." I'm not hearing the age, again. It could be that the character is envisioned to be far more mature in speech, but, if so, that should somehow be slipped in at earliest possible opportunity. If not, the reader may be distracted with the seeming incongruity between grade level and formal speech.

"Everyone campaigned for Obama." Love it! Very good exchange, once the scene was established.

"He gave me a small wave, but I left before he could say anything." The whole scene with Mr. Whit was well done, aside from the 'fragile mental state' point earlier. It read very smoothly, very true-to-life, or at least what I would imagine Regan's life to be.

Note: for purposes of this review, I realize Regan's gender is not yet state. It's not a common name, so the reader may not know it's usually a girl's name. It's also not always a girl's name. /meaning/1/Regan notes it is uncommon, but still used as a boy's name.

A critiquer, with the need to make reference to Regan multiple times explicitly in writing this sort of rumination, would notice it quickly. A normal reader might overlook this, but it may be a good idea to give that bit of information early on, perhaps in something Mr. Whit says.

(Of course, right after this, it's established for good that Regan is female, so ... take what I said with a grain of salt. I'm writing this SoC, as I read the work.)

"I just had to pretend like I wasn’t creepily obsessed with Blaine and all of his endeavors." I am very impressed with how you can show us her infatuation for Blaine without saying it out loud. This is very skillful.

"Maybe we could neutralize that threat..." Uh, voice and all that again.

"You wear argyle sweaters and knee-socks, you know?" This is the first time it feels like a bit of character description is forced out. It doesn't fit in the flow of the conversation.

"Regan? Did you just deem something as being “okay” instead of…" Great line. Love it.

"But people get scared and they think that a problem has to be eliminated." Too logical for someone in his position. "They're scared, and they want something to blame." Still logical, but not as analytical.

"No sobbing in the bathroom or buying multiple Vitamin Waters." Excellent. Shows the counselor's insight and familiarity with her coping mechanisms and a quite a bit of care, as well.

As an opening chapter, this hits the spot. We now know the protagonist, the situation, and even a complication and a supporting character as an added bonus. Perspective stayed consistent the whole time. No tense errors. The monologue didn't feel forced, aside from where noted, and yet conveyed a great deal of insight and information without being 'tell-y.'

Were that I have more time, I'd review the next chapters, but I'm afraid that will have to wait for another day.
notyourbiz chapter 13 . 12/28/2009
Jesus, I feel bad for the girl. Having to deal with so many emotional teens so fast. Poor Caleb! I love that boy and if his daddy is abusing him i want to kick his papa;s a*hole ;/ I hope that you get to update some time soon! Good chapter, by the way :D
jessica maxine chapter 13 . 12/28/2009
ok. it's cool. i like the twins, I want more Julia, Regan, and Blaine. I'm ready to hear more about them. Bring it on!
MeAsIAm chapter 13 . 12/28/2009
Knowing more about the twins was interesting... They are a little weird to say at least, because me and my twin try not to appear in a 5 feet radius of each other :P Update soon?
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