Reviews for Lakes and Oranges
in theory chapter 1 . 11/4/2009
The detail and sensuality in this is exquisite, and it's odd that despite the rigid format, it reads very fluently. I found it quite homoerotic to be honest, even though you refer to Adam (who, in my mind at least, isn't the first name I'd think of for a gay reference). I think it's that first and final line that makes me think this, it suggests he does not have time to unwrap a woman (or maybe he is scared of cellulite! hahaha!).

"I was swolen in a city made of heat and circumference" I found this line fascinating, and enjoyed how it echoes the imagery of an orange.

There's a kind of animalistic sexuality in this, with the fruity, almost sour saliva in your infectious kisses.. it's a very primal image. The format helps too with the repetitive styling, it's like a thrusting motion.

As always, great job. And belated Many Happy Returns on your 24th! I'll be on your newer work asap :)

Jack
Isca chapter 1 . 10/24/2009
"Adam does not peel his oranges; instead he bites down on the skin." How homoerotic.
we share our blanket with chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
I can't pull off things like this with style, but you definitely can. I love this.

I saw myself swimming in citrus saliva. Found it, like sand in the corks of my body

I was swollen in a city made of heat and circumference

Fantastic lines. This is exceptional.
NotNotNot chapter 1 . 10/19/2009
i love this one
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 10/19/2009
I love how you've taken such a simple concept, how Adam bites down on the skin instead of peeling, and created this magnificent poem. You are brilliant!
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 10/19/2009
So beautiful. Love the imagery.
HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 10/19/2009
This was very well written. The description pulled me in, and you created image after image, all of them fitting together perfectly.

I also like how you've reused some lines, linking the entire poem together. And the last two lines of the first verse that you've used in the last verse fits so well that the reader suddenly understands everything. Well done!

Out of interest, did you plan to write the poem like this, or did it just turn out this way?
Rachel chapter 1 . 10/18/2009
theres something oddly beautiful to this..

i love it very much.