|Reviews for Zen|
| in theory chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
I found this very perplexing. On the one hand, I get why you used the whiplashing one-liners, to roughly thrust the idea of zen into a paradoxical light. On the other hand though, it feels somehow disjointed. The flow of the stanzas is like molasses, steady and unrelenting but their depth and complexity is also a little eclipsed by the pungency of the single lines.
Also I couldn't find selenopia in any dictionary, and Google showed a single result..this poem! Care to share?
"I've taken to speaking in swansong, oblong"
is breathtaking, almost a piece in itself, or at the very least the skeleton of a new idea.
| Isca chapter 1 . 10/24/2009
"There’s a burlesque husk of Napoleonic suffrage laid out on my eyelids when I sleep." How masterful. This line is quite epic in terms of its maturity and grace.
"Mutilated clocks." Wow.
"Shadow of shame." Excellent alliteration.
"Zen witchery." Clever.
"Daguerreotype." I love that you chose this specific type of photograph to pair with the 'caricature of complementary woe' imagery. Brilliant.
| Around.about chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
A very heavy piece. Your diction is extremely specific, and opens the door for little interpretation, and yet the over all abstract nature of the poem, leaves you wondering as to what the subject might have been.
The use of alliteration and consonance really add to the idea that the author is toying with you. Almost as if you are looking for something that isn't there.
While I can't say it's my favorite of your pieces, I appreciate the overall complexity.
| RazorStar chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
Ah, I scanned this first thinking the flow would be off with your use of larger words, but you really managed to keep a steady outright flow with this. The short stanzas and uneven breaks gave this an irony to the ideas of Zen and peace of mind, and it really creates a comfortable agitation, like a child splashing in a bathtub. I love the alliteration at the start of stanza 12, and the tongue twisting at the end. With all the techniques you employed to create a whole body of wondrous work, you have truly achieved Zen in this piece. Keep writing,
| Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 10/20/2009
Powerful and vivid. I really like the imagery and word choice.